List-Addicted Madonna Slaps Guy Ritchie With 12-Rule Custody Rider

By Kyle Buchanan on November 12, 2008 at 2:30 AM

Guy Ritchie was reunited today with his two sons (yes, even that turncoat Rocco) after weeks apart, but his estranged ex Madonna made sure that the happy meeting came attached to a brand-new set of strict stipulations. Though Autotuned utterances of “Contract, Guy, Contract” didn’t seem to help her marriage any, the sinewy pop star hasn’t demurred from the format, instead drawing up a list of 12 simple rules for seeing her pre-teen sons. The Daily Mail’s got each one:



Though the list may seem excessive, Madonna deserves credit for cutting it down from the original 15; commands like “They are to spend the hours between 6 and 8 cleaning out the Dita costume,” “In the weekly reenactment of Swept Away, Rocco is to play Jeanne Tripplehorn,” and “The children are not allowed to partake of our Propecia,” surely fell victim to her everlasting benevolence.

[Image Credit: Daily Mail]

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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)

  • everfade
    November 12, 2008 at 5:16 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • everfade
    November 12, 2008 at 5:15 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • CaveatLector
    November 12, 2008 at 5:10 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Tiger_Tanaka
    November 12, 2008 at 5:09 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Miss Anne Thrope
    November 12, 2008 at 4:57 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Fry_Bread_Power
    November 12, 2008 at 4:55 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Old No.7
    November 12, 2008 at 4:41 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Grosse-Point-Break
    November 12, 2008 at 5:41 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • FuriousD1
    November 12, 2008 at 5:41 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Little Mintz Sunshine
    November 12, 2008 at 5:36 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • thomashenry
    November 12, 2008 at 5:30 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • MsMuffinMcGuffin
    November 12, 2008 at 6:09 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • shaved ape
    November 12, 2008 at 6:04 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Smackdown
    November 12, 2008 at 7:04 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Barbarella
    November 12, 2008 at 7:21 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • pomme80
    November 12, 2008 at 7:10 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • hellcat
    November 12, 2008 at 7:43 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • steampoweredboy
    November 12, 2008 at 7:37 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • sparkiepop
    November 12, 2008 at 8:17 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Dave J.
    November 12, 2008 at 7:59 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • OldTowneTavern
    November 12, 2008 at 8:41 AM

    "This is the list Madonna is said to have issued" and by "said" we mean by two members of our staff who have grown bored and mischievous while waiting for Amy Winehouse to fall out of the window of her flat.

    OldTowneTavern

  • SunnydaZe10
    November 12, 2008 at 9:00 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • PaisleyPajamas
    November 12, 2008 at 9:12 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • TurdBlossom
    November 12, 2008 at 9:48 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Xylo
    November 12, 2008 at 9:39 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • tmp00
    November 12, 2008 at 10:19 AM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • LLH
    November 12, 2008 at 1:31 PM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • Miss d
    November 12, 2008 at 6:13 PM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

  • KittyCarlisle
    November 12, 2008 at 7:22 PM

    Maybe his shirt should have read,

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