List-Addicted Madonna Slaps Guy Ritchie With 12-Rule Custody Rider

Guy Ritchie was reunited today with his two sons (yes, even that turncoat Rocco) after weeks apart, but his estranged ex Madonna made sure that the happy meeting came attached to a brand-new set of strict stipulations. Though Autotuned utterances of “Contract, Guy, Contract” didn’t seem to help her marriage any, the sinewy pop star hasn’t demurred from the format, instead drawing up a list of 12 simple rules for seeing her pre-teen sons. The Daily Mail’s got each one:

Though the list may seem excessive, Madonna deserves credit for cutting it down from the original 15; commands like “They are to spend the hours between 6 and 8 cleaning out the Dita costume,” “In the weekly reenactment of Swept Away, Rocco is to play Jeanne Tripplehorn,” and “The children are not allowed to partake of our Propecia,” surely fell victim to her everlasting benevolence.

[Image Credit: Daily Mail]

• Mama don’t preach: Madonna lets Guy see his boys… on 12 conditions [Daily Mail]