Larry Flynt Shares His Hope For a Jugs-Friendly Obama Administration

We know, we know: as you’ve read through our raft of election-related stories, your anxiety mounted as the pressing question, “But what does Larry Flynt think about all this?” remained unanswered. Now, though, you can relax, as an email has landed in our inbox entitled, “HUSTLER Publisher Larry Flynt’s Statement On Obama Election.” The pornographer’s missive was surprisingly well-written and earnest, but only Defamer has the original, revision-heavy first draft:

“President-Elect Barack Obama’s authoritative win in yesterday’s historic election proves, if nothing else, that optimism in the United States has not been run through the meat grinder is not dead. It was only tamped underfoot, squeezed hard beneath the weight of a titty fuck gone awry eight years of divisive national crisis and the steady erosion of the guarantees that made this imperfect Union an exemplar for the world.

“His work begins now in earnest. And what work it is! The restoration of our national lustre will take more than hope, more than a communicable contagious zeal for change. Real transformation requires achieving the nearly impossible: snapping the bonds of hate like an errant bra strap and the polarisation it fosters.

“This overwhelming victory for the Democratic Party represents an utter rejection of the toxic and failed policies of the Bush Administration, leaving us with a glimmer of hope for the restoration and preservation of our most precious rights (photos of women pulling their vaginas open using their thumb and forefinger).

“The American people demanded this change. And we will all be watching closely as the President-Elect and Michelle, definitely Michelle takes these first steps into what could be the sunlight of a new American dawn.” boobs

Larry Flynt

Couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Lar.