How Not to Get Killed Outside the Scientology Celebrity Centre: A Primer

Over the weekend, a man was killed in a bizarre attempt to storm the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles. Here are four lessons we have learned from the story that could avert such a circumstance.


· Don’t exit your car wielding two samurai swords. You will be shot.

· Don’t attempt this questionably insane plan at noon on a Sunday.

· If intent is to take guards by surprise (by wielding two samurai swords), do not announce presence by pulling up in a cherry-red convertible.

· Just probably don’t do this plan at all. Style points, though!

Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)

  • Fredric L. Rice

    Come to the Celebrity Center
    We’ll try not to kill you

    These violently insane Scientology customers are driven to commit such acts because Scientology turned them in to Tom Cruise Crazies. The phenomena is known as “Another satisfied customer.”

    Where the frick is the god damned law enforcement and health autorities who are supposed to protect us froj these Scientology criminals? Congressional funding needs to be allocated to dismantle the Scientology crime syndicate once and for all.

    The growing body count should be motivation enough.

  • David

    His name was Mario Majorski. He was a former Scientologist. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/11/24/2008-11-24_fatally_shot_scientologist_was_mental_pa.html

    Issue #318 of The Auditor, a Scientology magazine, lists him an attendee of the “Saint Hill Special Briefing Course” in 2004.

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