Gordon Ramsay Cheats On His Missus With A ‘Professional Mistress’

When it comes to the world of celebrity, it takes a lot for a story to make my jaw drop, but that’s exactly what happened today when I read News Of The World and learned that Gordon Ramsay has been cheating on his missus!

Now I understand relationships are complicated beasts, and the only people who truly know what’s going on in a relationship are the folks in the relationship, but from my distant position as a viewer of Ramsay’s television show and as someone who had read interviews where he and his wife spoke at length about their love, news that Gordon might have a bit on the side has come as a bit of a shock.

Which goes to show I need to f***ing get a f***ing life, desperately, and stop f***ing caring about f***ing Gordon Ramsay’s f***ing marriage. Onwards we go!

TV chef Gordon Ramsay is cheating on his devoted wife Tana, the News of the World can reveal. The F-Word star–who revels in his family man image–began his affair with blonde Sarah Symonds seven years ago.

My heart is quietly breaking as I realise the F-word was never food, family, or fidelity, but rather FORNICATION WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE. Meanwhile, let’s learn more.

Ramsay had a 75-minute tryst with his blonde mistress three days ago at a London hotel. Just hours earlier he had sent lover Symonds to London’s Soho to buy the sex drug amyl nitrate.

Hmmm. My understanding of amyl nitrate is that it’s often used to help loosen participants pursuing of bottom-ly pleasure, if you catch my brown drift. But what do I know? Nothing. My sex education came from watching Queer As Folk obsessively which would be fine if I were a 30 year old gay man, but I am not.

News Of The World has its own amyl nitrate thoughts.

Users claim they heighten sexual pleasure by relaxing muscles and increasing heart rate.

Up the bum, no babies!

You’re welcome to go to the News Of The World article and read all the gory details of the latest tryst between Gordon and his missues (he arrived at the hotel at 8pm! He entered the room at 8:15pm! No confirmation as to when he entered the mistress!) but before you go, here’s the thing I found most interesting.

Symonds is a “professional mistress” and has written books on the subject. Oprah Winfrey even had her as a guest on her show so Symonds could promote her book “Having An Affair? A Handbook For The Other Woman.”

News Of The World describes an excerpt from the book. The fact that Gordon has apparently been “trying to help Sarah get her book published in the UK” leads me to believe he’s an idiot – the person Symonds describes below is clearly him!

In the first edition of the book Symonds, who moved from LA to Newport in her native Wales in February this year, refers to a pal who had an affair with a chef with many similarities to Ramsay.

She wrote: “A friend of mine was having an affair with a world- famous TV chef, well-known on both sides of the Atlantic for both his bad language and his good food. He complained to my friend that things weren’t going well between him and his wife and that he was being made to sleep in the basement.

“Later that day, whilst passing a news stand, she was flabbergasted to see her MM’s (Married Man’s) face all over a top glossy weekly magazine, along with his wife and the latest addition to their growing brood. The article focused on ‘how strong’ their marriage was.”

Shocking stuff.

Of course, perhaps – just perhaps – Tana Ramsay was already aware of the affair and she’s okay with it? It’s a modern world, after all. Maybe Tana’s perfectly happy pushing the Ramsay brand through appearing as a cheery and perfect family in gossip mags and on the telly because there’s good money in it, and she’s accepting of the fact Gordon likes to get his bedroom thrills on the sly with another woman? Until she speaks out and says “Gordon is a filthy bastard to broke my heart and destroyed our family!”, we just won’t know for sure.

Still. This is like David and Victoria Beckham all over again as far as my sensitive heart is concerned.

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