David Archuleta Caught In Crossfire Between Mormon Church And 98% Of His Fanbase
We find ourselves absentmindedly doodling pictures of littlest karaoke soldier David Archuleta in the margins of our publishing software, wiling away these final days until his totally-going-to-blow-Cook-out-of-the-water debut LP drops. But listen, Archie—our little shaved koala, our 300-lb. gospel powerhouse in the body of a 17-year-old Mormon twink—the times, they are a-changin’, but not a-quite fast enough. You’ve already begun to do your part, releasing a catchy single called “Crush” whose video remains titillatingly unspecific about which of the several boys splashing around in a lake you secretly want to take Christmas Tree shopping. But things are escalating.
Your fanbase is bum rushing your houses of worship, hoisting placards demanding back their pillaged civil rights with the very hands that feverishly dialed in your 1-866-IDOLS number during your own moment of need. Only one child can bring these two sides together. The One. The Archie. Just leave your father at home, and remember what we always told you: song choice, song choice, song choice. Now what are you waiting for? Go save the world, kiddo! We’re counting on you!
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98% of his fan base? Are you kidding? David’s fanbase is the teen and pre-teen girl (and apparently grown up men who wish they were girls). You give yourself too much credit. Your group is so infatuated with itself you can’t see the rest of the world around you. Get over it. Most of California and the rest of the country by a much wider margin don’t agree with you and are sick of your “everything is about me” attitude. Would you please go back into your closet?
Thanks for the nice words about David’s Nov 11 album! I am loving what I’ve heard so far. Check out on-demand full-track listens at the Z100 or WASH-FM websites! Re Crush, I think it’s pretty clear that the blond girl is the crush, but hey, wishful thinking is free. Re David’s fanbase, it’s mostly females from what I’ve seen. And shaved koala? Aren’t koalas cute but vicious? I think David’s a lot nicer than a koala.
70 percent of African-Americans voted yes on 8 and the Catholic Church also was behind yes on 8. Should we boycott all black recording artists or Catholic artists? Why should we punish this young guy who wants to sing? I am gay and I don’t hold David personally accountable for prop. 8…plus I believe he is gay also and will need are help, later on.