5 Suggestions For Improving the Generally Hideous ‘Jonas Brothers Concert Movie’ Poster

The recently released poster for the Jonas Brothers’ upcoming concert movie — otherwise referred to as The Jonas Brothers Concert Movie — has been the subject of intense scrutiny and debate today around Defamer HQ. On one hand, its undercurrents of everything from purity-ringed privilege to downmarket Beatlemania convey just the kind of “phenomenon” vibe Disney intends. On the other, you’ve got three kids dressed like bums with expensive luggage crowding into a puddle-jumper. For now, anyway, critical mass wins out; here’s a case to be made for the latter.

1. Find Joe Jonas a comb. Easily the best-looking of the three, Joe is nevertheless pinned at the top of the steps, 15 yards from the camera with his hair blowing in his face. If Kevin called “front” on the basis of seniority, fine, but at least mix in some Photoshop and give us the cute one, too.

2. Commission a live-performance shot. We know these guys don’t play live that often, have few fans and are underphotographed in general, but Disney should consider promoting their concert film with an actual image of the boys playing live. Think U2 Rattle and Hum or Eddie Murphy Raw. ESPECIALLY Eddie Murphy Raw.

3. Get a real plane. Just because the Jonas Brothers are tiny little things who travel without groupies doesn’t mean they have to squeeze into their little brother’s discarded toy Gulfstream. Take Led Zeppelin for example — remember the Starship, on which they traveled during their 1973 and 1975 tours? That was a rock n’ roll plane.

4. Do Louis Vuitton or Hobo Chic, not both. These guys aren’t the Jonas Brothers; they’re a cleaning crew about to be arrested for ripping off the Jonas entourage.

5. Add Jonathan Jaxson. There’s no excuse for the omission of Disney’s greatest asset. No. Excuse.