Thursday, November 27, 2008

Brooke Satchwell Trapped In Mumbai!

4:11PM Jess McGuire | Not that having a vaguely famous Australian involved in things makes the events unfolding in Mumbai more terrifying or anything, but I was rather surprised to learn that former Neighbours star Brooke Satchwell was one of the folks hiding from terrorists at the Taj Hotel. Perhaps because it’s like hearing that Jason Donovan or the Goggomobil guy from the Yellow Pages ads was involved – your first thought is “What?! Why are they in India?! What have I missed?!” Calling it a harrowing experience for Brooke and the folks with her would be an understatement to say the least. Melbourne actor Brooke Satchwell has told how she hid in a bathroom cupboard for an hour while machine gun-wielding terrorists went on a deadly rampage through Mumbai’s Taj Hotel. The former Neighbours star – who is in India on a three-week film shoot – told Radio 3AW she ran past dead bodies as she fled the Taj Hotel. More »

Former Big Brother Star Krystal Forscutt Is Australia’s Most Beautiful Woman

3:00PM Jess McGuire | Yes, Gaelan’s former paramour Krystal Forscutt, a woman who never met a men’s magazine cover she didn’t like, is officially the most beautiful woman in Australia. Okay, there wasn’t a vote or anything, but her brand new manager Max Markson has told us! And he’d know better than anyone! The lads’ mags favourite and former Big Brother star has a new chaperon to spruik her assets, sorry talents. The pneumatic bikini babe, who can list pop star Kanye West among her admirers, is now handled by Max Markson. She was at the GQ Men of the Year Award Not one to undersell anything, Markson announced his new client as “the most beautiful girl in Australia!” Need For Speed: Pro Street! Let’s learn a little more about her new manager courtesy of his official website bio, shall we? More »

Jillian Michaels – Our Love For You Remains Strong.

12:22PM Jess McGuire | Am I the only one chomping at the bit to see that buff tigress of a television star Jillian Michaels back on my television screen? I think not. She is to me what Chuck Norris is to bored office workers exchanging passe fads on email – a hero. I was reminded to remind you of my love for The Biggest Loser’s toughest trainer because I just received the following email from an American. It would seem Jillian’s currently on their television screens, which I’ll admit makes me envious – but these words from reader Annie also make me incredibly happy because it sounds like Jillian is as fierce a bitch as she ever was so she should be in fine form by the time she has to make Australian fatties cry and then morph into sexy beasts. And she’s inspired Annie to work out! And even though I don’t know who Annie is, I think that’s awesome! Not sure if you got it but I loved it when Jillian told Renee “I don’t care if you throw up an intestine, keep going”. This quote alone led me to the decision that I really need to get serious about my weight loss and decided to look up Jillian quotes and place them around my house, that is how I found you. Thanks for the help, Annie MY PLEASURE, ANNIE. Defamer Australia wishes you all the best. More »

Gordon Ramsay Is Sorry For Diddling The Professional Mistress

9:29AM Jess McGuire | Surprise, surprise! Looks like Brand Ramsay is stronger than public revelations celebrity chef Gordon cheated on his wife Tana with a woman who describes herself as a professional mistress, with the sweary Scot apologising to his missus and praying to God his indescretion won’t affect his paycheck. I am assuming that last bit, of course. Gordon Ramsay has apologised to his wife Tana after admitting he met his alleged mistress at least four times. The couple have now made a pact to keep their marriage together as they brace for more accusations in the coming days. “I’m so sorry I’ve put Tana through this,” Ramsay told a friend who was quoted in Britain’s Mirror newspaper last night. “I’ve apologised to her and feel absolutely dreadful. I feel I’ve been a fool. She really doesn’t deserve all this grief.” Of course he feels like a fool – it was the professional mistress who set him up with the tabloids! More »

Carl Williams Won’t Be Going To His Mother’s Funeral

8:45AM Jess McGuire | There’s been quite a bit of discussion this week in the papers about convicted murderer Carl Williams – his mother died of an apparent drug overdose, his former wife Roberta Williams got paid the big bucks to talk about it on A Current Affair, Carl was mocked for paraphrasing Celine Dion lyrics (more on that here), and folks appeared to be outraged at the idea Carl might be allowed to leave jail to attend his mother’s funeral. They needn’t have feared – although his father, also currently in prison, has been given permission to go to the funeral, Carl’s application was denied. Gangland murderer Carl Williams has been refused an application for leave from jail to attend the funeral of his mother Barbara, who died last week. His father, however, who is also in jail, will be allowed to attend. More »