PooGate ‘08: It Might Be An Idea To Skip Dessert If You’re At The Coogee Bay Hotel

It may seem surprising to regular viewers that Defamer Australia hasn’t been covering the story of the fecal-flavoured gelato allegedly being served up at Sydney establishment The Coogee Bay Hotel. To be honest, I’ve been following it in my own time, but sometimes a story seems so unreal, it renders me speechless. But I would be remiss as a “journalist” to not mention it at all on this site, an online safe haven for poor taste poo (<-- ZING!) jokes and other immature things.

Let's assume you've been living in a cave and are completely unaware of the sordid surprise left in a bowl at a pub. Basically, there's a family out there accusing staff of The Coogee Bay Hotel of popping (plopping?) some human dung in their dessert. The hotel, naturally fearing backlash if word spread their menu contained elements of bottom waste, denied the entire thing and claimed tests had proven the gelato in question contained only delicious - if not slightly smelly - bits o' chocolate. Yum!

The folks who were served up the poo didn't believe them, and separate tests have concluded that yes, their after dinner delight really did contain bum deposits.

A food sample supplied by a family who allege they were served gelato laced with frozen faeces at a Sydney hotel has tested positive for faecal matter.

YUM! Hope you’ve had your breakfast already!

Primary Industries Minister Ian Macdonald said preliminary laboratory test results by the New South Wales Food Authority showed the sample contained bilirubin, found in excreta.

Further DNA analysis would now be done to determine if the sample was of “human or animal origin”, the minister said.

Those results are not expected for a number of weeks.

Weeks? I’m too impatient! We can only hope this delay in actual findings will not stop the production of “DESSERT CONTAINED POO!” headlines on most major news sites on a daily basis.

The folk at the Coogee Bay Hotel are treating this as though it is a mystery of the Mulder & Scully variety.

Staff at The Coogee Bay Hotel also have all agreed to a DNA test in efforts to clear the pub’s name.

“The Coogee Bay Hotel has never disputed that the substance the Whytes have held for three weeks could be faecal,” the hotel said in a statement.

“The real question remains – where did it come from?”

I WANT TO BELIEVE.

MORE: Tests find poo in Coogee Bay Hotel ice cream sample