Mark Wahlberg To ‘Crack’ Andy Samberg’s ‘Big Fucking Nose’

Having already made it clear that he was less than amused with Andy Samberg’s take on him as an amateur goat-whisperer from the mean streets of Mass (an impersonation we’ve hailed as pure genius—but Marky, if you’re reading this, we hated it!), Mark Wahlberg upped the stakes considerably on a Jimmy Kimmel Live! appearance last night.

After Kimmel ran a clip from the offending sketch, the actor—in a studied bit of business borrowed from any number of Scorsese-DeNiro collaborations—fastidiously plucked a stray thread off his dress shirt as he pledged to “crack [the Hot Rod star's] big fucking nose.” The only thing better than a celebrity feud is a celebrity feud with lightly anti-Semitic undertones and the potential of skull fragmentation. Still, we think his tough-guy bark is worse than his bite, and Samberg needn’t start truly panicking until Wahlberg pledges, in a clever twist on one of Samberg’s greatest hits, to deliver the young comic his own nuts in a box.

• Jimmy Kimmel Live!