Madonna Bans Sarah Palin From Concerts; Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Unaware She’d Bought Tickets For Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet Tour

Pop music’s favourite fifty-year-old maverick Madonna (who, oddly enough, is the former owner of record label Maverick) has spoken out against fellow maverick Sarah Palin during a concert in New Jersey.

Madonna has banned Sarah Palin from attending her concerts, joining stars past and present in dissing the Republican vice-presidential candidate. During the US start of her Sticky and Sweet tour in New Jersey on Saturday night, she shouted: “Sarah Palin can’t come to my party. Sarah Palin can’t come to my show. It’s nothing personal”.

That’s fantastic – it’s nice to see Madge isn’t afraid to get a little mavericky despite her age – except I think banning Sarah Palin from a “party” would only truly be effective if, say, Sarah Palin was actually planning on attending your party. If Sarah Palin had camped overnight for tickets, then dressed up in her finest conically-canned corset, and was happily in the process of handing over her overpriced tickets to the door bitch at the concert when Madonna made the above rant, resulting in the door bitch tearing up the previously valid tickets and calling security to escort a tearful Palin from the venue, then you could say Madge really hit the Republican vice-presidential candidate where it hurt.

But as far as I know, Sarah Palin had no plans to catch Madonna in concert, so it’s kind of a pointless banning, you know? That’s like me organising a housewarming and telling all my friends “If that annoying bitch Katy Perry turns up, I’m totally slamming the door in her clit-teasing face!” – it’s only vaguely interesting for onlookers if there’s an iota of a chance the potential victim will actually show up for their public humiliation.

Oh, and also? Madonna made a joke too.

She also told the crowd, “Here’s the sound of Sarah Palin’s husband’s snowmobile when it won’t start,” followed by a loud screeching noise.