Girls Aloud Tormented By Violent Blogger, Loved By Chris Martin
Swings and roundabouts, people.
As you may have heard, Defamer Australia pop favourites Girls Aloud were recently the target of a rogue public servant turned blogger’s fantasies of violence. Oh no!
A civil servant is being prosecuted over an internet blog which detailed the kidnap, torture and murder of the pop group Girls Aloud. Darryn Walker, 35, of South Shields, South Tyneside, is accused of writing and posting the 12-page “Girls (Scream) Aloud” story on a fantasy porn site.
Urgh. Poor The Girls Aloud – “DO NOT WANT”, as they say on the internet.
However, if anything’s gonna give the ladies a wide and perfectly white smile after that revelation, it’s news that Coldplay frontman Chris Martin bloody loves them.
“I love Girls Aloud. I’m obsessed with Girls Aloud. I’ve been trying to write them a song and I can’t come up with anything good enough. They’re amazing. It’s the combination of extreme physical attraction and fantastic music. I think they might be the ultimate form of life”
Chris Martin, April 2008
Hurrah! He wrote Jamelia’s awesome See It In A Boy’s Eyes so there’s hope for this collaboration yet. What do Girls Aloud think of his offer?
Girls Aloud listen to the above eulogy from the swooning Coldplay frontman and respond in the only way they know how, with a typhoon of loud, sweary, cackling squeals in a spectrum of comedy accents. ‘Well, he better keep wehrkin’ on a song, then, hadn’t he?’ hoots Nicola Roberts, 22, the way only Scousers can. ‘Pen a bit harder!’
Pen a bit harder indeed, Chris Martin.
- Next Post: Julia Louis-Dreyfus Joins the ‘No On Prop 8′ Cause, Courtesy of Ellen (and Wanda Sykes) »
- « Previous Post: Just Which Lonely Aussie Is This Spunky Spaniard Wooing?
Comments
There are currently no AU comments for this post.