George Clooney Still Adjusting To Moustachioed Lifestyle

Having recently noted that George Clooney—on location in Puerto Rico while filming paranormal U.S. Army infantry comedy Men Who Stare at Goats—had inherited the mantle of Hollywood’s most dashingly fur-lipped esquire from Robert Downey Jr., we’re now saddened to inform you that things have taken a turn for the grim:

While sunning himself on a chaise longue, the actor suddenly succumbed to a common moustache-newbie syndrome, in which the overstimulated follicles suddenly seize up—rendering the wearer physically immobile, yet in a tremendous amount of pain. Luckily, a team of cabana boys familiar with the condition arrived on the scene almost immediately, and went right about the process of massaging cocoa butter into Clooney’s stiffened maw. Before long, the Clooney Smile™ had returned, and he soon went back to the business of committing dialogue to memory.

• George Clooney is a Shirtless Man Who Stares at Goats [Just Jared]