‘But How Can That Be When She Ruined My Marriage?’

The article I’m about to encourage you to read isn’t about anyone particularly famous. Well, they’re not famous in Australia, but I believe the people involved are well-known British journalists. It is so gobsmackingly awful and cringey and unhinged that I thought you may get as much sick enjoyment in reading it as I did.

Basically, Daily Mail Livejournalist Rachel Royce was once married to Sunday Times columnist Rod Liddle. They had gotten hitched after spending twelve unwed years together (and producing two children), but the marriage didn’t last long. Within six months, Rod had left her for another woman named Alicia Monckton, a younger lady he’d been sleeping with before he got married to Rachel, and for whom he ended up cutting his honeymoon with Rachel short (Alicia’s mother had died, so Rod headed back home to comfort her).
Admittedly, all of this does not make Rod sound like a particularly nice man, and understandably Rachel was very upset by the split (and the other woman in Rod’s life). And now, five years on, she’s literally lost her shit in the most public way after learning from a reporter that Rod and Alicia had secretly gotten married in a nice old fashioned white wedding a few weeks ago. Rachel’s fury at this news has resulted in the world’s least dignified textual hissyfit.

From the second sentence of her rant (”In polite society, I believe it’s usual for the ex to be offered an invitation to the wedding and to be diplomatically busy on the weekend in question.” – OH REALLY?) I began to suspect things might not be well in Rachelsheadland, but this realisation was truly hammered home with jackhammer-like certainty when I read the following.

In a fit of anger, I decided I would have it out with the vicar who married Rod to someone else. I explained I was upset that he had married my ex-husband in his church.

‘The breakdown of any marriage is very painful,’ he told me. ‘I have experience of it myself.’

‘But she broke us up,’ I complained. ‘As far as I’m concerned, they are two parishioners who came to me to be married and I could see no reason not to. The wedding is legal,’ he said.

He sounded very cold and matter-of-fact. I told him that if he had bothered to look Rod up on the internet it would have taken him two minutes to find out the truth.

‘I don’t Google,’ he replied disdainfully.

I asked him if he would have conducted the ceremony if he had been aware of the facts. He replied that he didn’t sit in judgment of others.

‘So God doesn’t mind if we sleep with other people’s husbands?’ I cried in distress.

He told me that he didn’t think there was any point in carrying on the conversation.

Amazing.

I’m no fan of philandering men, but RACHEL! GET A FUCKING GRIP!

Seriously. Read the article. A sick part of me wants Andrew Bolt or Miranda Devine or Michelle Grattan to suddenly and unexpectedly publish their own vicious tirade against a personal acquaintance who has, for some reason or another, wronged them terribly.

MORE: How could my ex-husband Rod Liddle give his young floozy the white wedding I was denied – and make my children lie about it