We Can Probably Assume Lily Allen Is Regretting “Elton-Gate”

After downing the champers at a rate David Boon would be proud of when she attended the GQ Man of the Year Awards last week, then shooting off her mouth at co-host Elton John only to be shot down in flames regarding her stomach, shall we say, for toot, as they say – and then realising it was all caught on tape – Lily Allen’s probably been feeling more than a little sorry for herself these past couple of days. Well, you’d assume that, but thanks to the wonders of online social networking, we can confirm that as well!

Allen’s Facebook entry read: “Lily is dying inside”, which replaced an earlier statement, when she wrote on her page: “Lily has had enough feels like killing herself”.

The star’s actions have left close friends fearing for her state of mind.

One said: “I don’t know why she had put this on there. There is no reason for it.”

Lord knows what the press would say if either member of team Defamer Australia ever became famous enough to warrant having our status updates broadcast to the world. I daresay they’d be bringing in psychological experts by the busload – so in other words, I don’t think we need to send the boys round to Lily’s joint just yet. But if she starts posting sad YouTube compilations of break-up scenes from Dawson’s Creek to the tune of Sarah McLachlan’s Angel, well, that might be a cause for concern.