Sandilands On Beckham’s Appendage: “He’s Got It Going On”

In the scheme of “unpleasant mental images”, it’s probably safe to say that the idea of “King” Kyle Sandilands at the urinal probably ranks with, as the old Austin Powers line goes, Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day (or, while we’re on the topic, Alexander Downer wearing that old stockings and high heels get-up – BUT WITH NOTHING ELSE). So how kind of Sandilands to forcibly enter the nation’s imagination with a little anecdote he couldn’t help but tell about the time he perved on David Beckham’s knob accidentally shared a bathroom with David Beckham.

Sandilands told listeners to his radio show that he had been “in the toilet at Villa nightclub in LA and there’s only two urinals in there, it’s very small”.

Hold your horses, those of you in the back – he means the toilet is very small. Carry on, Kyle!

“Somebody comes in behind me, and I hear a soft voice say ‘Hello, how are you?’ I turned around and think: ‘Holy s***! It’s David Beckham!’

“I’m midway through and I think, I’ve got to slow this down. I couldn’t help myself, for the first time in my life, I glanced down to the left and had a look.”

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“Let’s just say he looks like he’s got it going on,” Sandilands said

Is it weird that I am experiencing a powerful need to dry heave right now? However, Kyle is at least to be commended for having spun an anecdote with no real point other than to crow, “Check it out, I looked at David Beckham’s peen” – it’s almost Zen.