Peter Costello Accuses Janette Howard Of Political Cockblocking

Peter Costello is apparently claiming in his forthcoming book that he would have won the 2007 election for the Coalition if he’d been allowed to take over leadership, but that evil old harpy Janette Howard refused to let it happen because she wanted to personally serve George W. Bush sandwiches at Kirribilli. Or something.

Mr Costello calls the former prime minister’s wife a “consensus of one” and claims she was more powerful than federal cabinet in the lead-up to last year’s election, the Nine Network reported.

Mr Costello says Mrs Howard did not want anyone else occupying Kirribilli House when US President George W Bush visited Australia for the APEC summit in Sydney last September, the report said.

Good god, Peter. You really are a pathetic individual, aren’t you? You had your chance and you wimped out, buddy. And now, like someone who lost an argument but then later regales friends with tales of the things you would have said and done had you not run off crying like a big girl, you won’t stop jabbering on about how things might have been different.

You coulda had class. You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what you are, let’s face it.

Anyway, it’s the quotes regarding Peter’s memoirs from politicians on both sides of the political fence which interest me and are rather telling.

Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson said he was keen to read the book. “I think it will be an interesting and enjoyable read,” he said.

This is not Oprah’s book club, Brendan. Grow some balls.

Frontbencher Tony Abbott said he was also looking forward to Mr Costello’s memoirs.

“I’m assured that Peter’s book is a measured book, that it pays appropriate tribute to John Howard, acknowledges him as perhaps Australia’s best ever prime minister.

Memo to Tony Abbott: John Howard is no longer your boss. Please stop fellating him in the press. Your God thinks man-crushes are a sin, or something.

Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard said Mr Costello should stop sniping from the back benches.

“You know, it seems to me, whatever people thought of former prime minister Howard … since the last election he has conducted himself in a dignified way,” Ms Gillard said. “I think that is in stark contrast to the way Peter Costello has conducted himself.”

And that, ladies and gents, is why I love that fiery little nugget of ginger left-wingery. You hit the nail on the head, Jules.

The co-author of Costello’s book claims that Peter didn’t challenge John Howard’s leadership because “The idea of splitting the party and dividing the government ranks was something he wouldn’t contemplate, he just had to put up with the frustration.”

Rubbish. He was he too cowardly, and he missed his window. And personally, I am incredibly thankful of that. I heard once that around the time of last year’s Dinner Conversations With Brissenden controversy a relative of Costello’s got a bit shickered out on the town and told a friend of mine that Peter was swanning about the house grinning from ear to ear because he thought it was going to be his chance to force out Howard before the election. But when it came to the crunch, he didn’t make a grab for power.

Whatever. As I said, I’m pleased about that. But for god’s sake, stop rabbiting on about it, Peter Costello. You’re just reminding everyone of what a truly spineless creature you’ve always been.

MORE: Janette blocked me: Costello (WA Today)