Nevada’s Free-Movie Lovers Ambushed With ‘Valkyrie’ Screening

Valkyrie. It’s that rare movie which, without even having been released, has already managed to break free from its celluloid constraints to become a genuine state of mind. (”How you feeling?” “Oh, a little Valkyrieish, you?” “Same.”) We all know the story by now: Odd flight of historical fancy by Nazi-obsessed director Bryan Singer; Tom Cruise signs on, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Col. Shtuffel Von Klingenhauser, the movie’s famed Hitler-hunter; mishaps and flatulence follow, Nazis are injured and sue; and its studio crumbles amid a round of musical release dates. But through it all, has anyone actually seen this thing? According to E! Online, top secret testing is currently underway at an undisclosed location somewhere in Nevada known only as Area Einundfünfzig—and what they are learning there is nothing short of astonishing: