Michael Jackson’s DNA-Laden Underpants An EBay Exclusive

“Boys pants, half-off.” That’s the punchline to one of our favourite Michael Jackson jokes. (”Why did Jackson go to Wal-Mart?”) But now you really can own a pair of Jackson’s underpants, via the creepiest eBay auction since Courtney Love’s Papsmearpalooza For Charity. From Page Six:

A pair of size-28 Calvin Klein white briefs once belonging to Wacko Jacko will be auctioned on eBay tomorrow, with a reserve price of $1 million.

The unwashed underpants have a sensational past. They were part of the evidence confiscated in 2003 by then-Santa Barbara DA Tom Sneddon, who wanted a DNA sample for his unsuccessful child-molestation case against the washed-up King of Pop… For extra authenticity, the briefs come sealed in an evidence bag and wrapped with police tape.

Obviously, the seven-figure reserve price leaves this particular memento beyond the reach of the casual Jackson collector, such as ourselves. Rather, we expect this auction will boil down to a two-way bidding war between eBay users SheikAttack29—logging in from a domain somewhere in Dubai—and MarkCubanRocks, both of whom hope to use the precious DNA to clone their own Jackson, already booked for an eight-performances-a-week Vegas showroom residency until 3069.

• IN BRIEF: JACKO’S UNDIES FOR SALE [Page Six]