Let’s Discuss Lady GaGa’s Performance On Rove, Shall We?

If you watched Rove on Sunday night – AND WHY WOULDN’T YOU, THE BOY NEXT DOOR HAS WON THE HEART OF THE NATION, GOOD ENOUGH FOR KEVIN RUDD, ETC! – you would have seen both unfunny comedian Dane Cook (seriously, nothing he said, nothing, made me even smile. And I wasn’t planning on being a hater! Also, there’s this which kinda cements him as a fool in my mind) and new pop sensation Lady GaGa.

Now, I love pop. So does Bastow. If you haven’t picked up on that during your time on Defamer Australia, then let me hammer it home. Me and Pop used to fool around as kids. There was a brief period in high school where I didn’t want to be seen anywhere near Pop, and then once I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, I realised that what me and Pop had was something special, you know? And sometimes we see other people, and sometimes I look at some of the folks associated with Pop and think “What are you doing?! They don’t deserve to be linked to you! They’re bringing you down, ruining your rep!” but Pop has a mind of its own and I have to respect that. Nay, I have to love that. And I do.

So I wanted to LOVE Lady GaGa’s appearance on Rove. I do like ‘Just Dance’ as a song, truly (although I prefer the sheer awesomeness and enthusiasm of Ladyhawke, or the shameless feel good hook-heavy Danish stylings of Alphabeat) but I was completely underwhelmed by her performance on Sunday night. Her pretentiousness during the interview before hitting the stage was almost adorable, but not quite. And then there was the performance itself…Mel from A Wild Young Under-Whimsy, whose post today about GaGa (that’s apparently what were supposed to call her when we’re feeling familiar, or so she told Rove) reminded me that I meant to bring this up the topic of Ms Gaga’s performance yesterday but forgot due to a lack of brain cells and the distraction of battling with temperamental internet connection, certainly didn’t enjoy the show. Here’s some of what she said:

On Sunday I was watching the end of Rove while waiting for Dexter to start, and I witnessed a sight so embarrassing that I could barely look at the screen. It was this creature called Lady GaGa who looks like bargain basement Gwen Stefani and sounds like… whatever heavily autotuned pop sluts sound like without their autotuner. For some reason she was wearing these glasses that looked like twin televisions. Then she said, in a retarded fake British accent like the one Britney used to affect during the dark times of 2007: “Hello, my name is Lady GaGa. And this is Rove.”

And then the shrieks of teenage girls rang out like klaxons warning of an imminent pop shitstorm!

Ha, yes, I forgot about the “Hello, my name is Lady Gaga. And this is Rove” – it was rather cringey. And it was also sort of weird watching twenty teenage girls rocking out as Lady GaGa attempted to deliver, one assumes, a stadium worthy production on a tiny stage with a budget of $20 (mostly spent on glitter).

In short, it was a bit rubbish.

BUT WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS – are you going to go my way? And also, did you watch the above clip and think it brilliant? Why? Or did you go to any of her live shows during her time in Oz, and if so – how was it? Because I really want to like Lady GaGa more than I do. Convince me. She can’t stay in my good books solely cos ‘Just Dance’ forever, you know. And lord knows staying in my good books must be top of her list of priorities.

MORE: Who is this embarrassing train wreck of a ‘musician’? (A Wild Young Under-Whimsy)