Blow Up Your TV: Defamer Liveblogs the 2008 Emmy Awards

Sunday greetings from Defamer HQ, where television’s! Biggest! Night! has us shaking off our hangovers for live coverage of the 60th annual Emmy Awards. That’s right — we’re doing this live, bypassing that silly US tape delay for the straight dirt as it happens on the red carpet, inside the Nokia Theatre and wherever else history and fools are being made on this historic evening. You know the subplots to watch for over the long night ahead, so read along and join the party. And heads up: Spoilers (and a few advance clips) follow for anyone who can’t bear to know Heidi Klum’s hosting benchmarks or how much arse Mad Men is kicking before watching for themselves in primetime. That said, we’ve already filled you in this year’s heroes in comedy and drama; what more is there to know? After the jump, join us on the express elevator into the heart of Emmy hell!

7:05 “We’re joined by the cast of Entourage…” But where is the Piv? Picking up his date(s)? Developing…

6:51 Breaking! Britney Spears wanted to come back to How I Met Your Mother when Sarah Chalke’s storyline was reintroduced. Not so fast, alas — the producers will have to get back to her about that.

6:47 Are Seacrest and Steve Carell bonding over enlarged balls? They are! Is it 8 yet?

6:43 More breaking development news! Marcia Cross confirms there will be no Melrose Place revival.

6:39 How the other half lives: On TV Guide Channel, Lisa Rinna has back-to-back interviews with Tony Shalhoub and Zeljko Ivanek intercut with arrivals footage of… Phylicia Rashad.

6:32 That Tracy Morgan interview was the most boring 90 seconds of his career.

6:22 Jenna Fischer looks great, and now she’s saying there’s no Office spin-off at all — i.e. “cannibalizing the granddady,” as Seacrest says. Not that, either, Fischer says.

6:14 Emmy ParentWatch continues! Seacrest shoves aside a weak Kathy Griffin for Rainn Wilson, who brings up his own old man for a chat. After the troubling disclosure about some Wilson/Jason Reitman reunion called Bonzai Shadowhands (”I play a drunk, down-and-out ninja”), a more scintillating update reveals they’re holding off a year for the Office spin-off. And three weddings this year. Huh.

6:07 Because the world needs another Sandra Oh interview like it needs another Fey/Palin comparison, Seacrest brought her parents in for the Q&A — Mr. and Mrs. Oh from Ottawa. Fun fact: Her mother is a scientist!

6:00 OMG!!!! Finally — Seacrest, Klum, Bergeron, Mandel, and Probst, all together at once on E! This truly is the impossible dream, and Probst is going tie-less. Slob. Kiss the Best Reality TV Host prize goodbye.