Australian Idol Round-Up: Jonny Taylor, The Man So Memorable Everyone Forgot He’d Left

Pity poor Jonny Taylor; first he eats bitumen in a motorcycle accident that causes him only to be able to communicate via the power of soulful™ atmospheric rock songs and paintings of post-apocalyptic landscapes featuring screaming, bald heads, then his hair is attacked by the last remaining bottle of Fudge Raspberry Beret Paintbox dye on the planet, then his mother solemnly informs him that the family will only be able to afford clothes from Off Ya Tree since the river took Emmy-Lou, and then, he ends up in the bottom two with Teale “The JPEG” Jakubenko – and it’s The JPEG that ends up getting to stay! Good thing Jonny’s feeling so chipper about the whole debacle, then:

“I started losing faith in myself not as artist but as a performer,” Taylor said today.

“I would have been questioning my musical integrity if I had of gone any further.”

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“I knew that it was just a televised karaoke competition. I knew exactly what I was getting in for,” he said.

Yes, I very much enjoyed Taylor’s damning of the Final 11 with faint praise on Monday night, saying “These 11 guys are much more comfortable singing covers than I’ll ever be” – ouch, where’s the love, Taylor? Still, I am disappointed we’ll never be treated to the sight of perma-confused Taylor patting himself on the chest while Kermit does his best to arrange the collected works of Eddie Vedder, Jeff Martin and Virgil Donati. Maybe next year, little Timmy, maybe next year…