Australian Idol Round-Up: Final 10 Week

Another week, another round of Australian Idol, this time with bonus Darren Hayes goodness and a bunch of “Aussie hits” (except when they were from New Zealand). What did the Final 10 sing? What did they wear? What did James Mathison have to say? What of Andrew G’s hair? For all this and more, let’s jump together into our traditional Monday discussion session.Firstly, a word of thanks to mentor and guest judge Darren Hayes, who is awesome (particularly when telling one of the male contestants that he was “in right behind you”) and, like Cyndi Lauper, should be allowed back every week. James Mathison was also in fine form, taking a moment to look at the exit sign with eyes blissfully glazed when he and G were taking their daily advertorial duties (in this case, Maccas’ Australia’s Favourite Songs comp, which will net a winner $50k), enthusing that the prize could buy you “a reaaally Big Mac” (or maybe a whole lot of 2-Minute Noodles and service station chicken rolls, eh Jimmy?). But now, on to the important stuff:

Thanh Bui – You’re The Voice
Thanh!! So close, and yet so far! Apparently Thanh missed my heartfelt plea for him to sing Touch Of Paradise, and instead chose You’re The Voice (Kermit/Ossie Ostrich Foreman was unable to provide bagpipes, sadly), which was edging into the same ballpark as Damien Leith singing Celebration. Weird.

Chrislyn Hamilton – Chains
Despite seemingly wearing a Beatle wig from the last Fab Four tribute act to pass through the Croxton Park Hotel/Rooty Hill RSL (not to mention the leggings; awesome work, Maybelline Style Team!), Chrislyn once again pounded it out of the park with Tooooina’s big hit; the judges all love her, so hopefully a Ricki Lee-esque fate won’t befall her (though, if it doesn’t, Ricki Lee will probably be packing a voodoo doll with her lip-gloss).

Tom Williams – Light Surrounding You
Can somebody get this child off the stage? He. Can’t. Sing! Not to mention the fact that Evermore are New Zealanders (yes, they live here now, BUT STILL). Tom obviously fluked a few good performances in the early rounds and is choking now; not that the screaming “tweenies” in the audience agree with me. ‘Orrible, really, but they like that, the little girls.

Teale Jakubenko – Black Fingernails, Red Wine
The JPEG got down and dirty with Eskimo Joe’s mega-seller and provided a deeply hilarious performance as a result, balling his fists and squinting like a 50-year-old at his first prostate exam. When all was said and done, JPEG got Zen on us and explained that he was “just trying to show that intensity that’s inside everyone” before making a face like this :|

Roshani Priddis – Heading In The Right Direction
Roshani must have been on the Metamucil (or should that be Immodium?) this week, as her signature “snapping one off” mid-song squat was mercifully absent. I wonder, though, how the judges managed to miss how off-key the bulk of this performance was. “Outstanding”, Darren?

Wes Carr – Friday On My Mind
Yeah, yeah, he’s pretty good, isn’t he? Although, I enjoyed Harry Vanda’s slightly lost expression and the look in his eyes at the end of his little video package bit that said, “Can I have my McDonalds Gold Pass now?” Also, I agree with the judges, Wes: take off the hat. It’s making you look like the lost member of Jet.

Luke Dickens – Flame Trees
Remember that guy that used to go on Red Faces all the time and sing like a saxophone? Luke Dickens is his reincarnation, only he sings as an orbital sander.

Sophie Paterson – Don’t Hold Back
Darren Hayes’ special friend Sophie did a reverse She’s All That this week, shedding her shiny pop veneer (or at least, what’s been interpreted as such) to return to her “amazing” roots, which in turn birthed this, like, totally amazing rejig of The Potbelleez Supré changeroom favourite. Those two words again: Chanel. Cole.

Mark Spano – Age Of Reason
I think Mark Spano may very quickly be becoming my favourite Idol; at first he looked like a self-important twonk, but now he’s a Farnsey-loving dork who lives with his cats in the bungalow at the back of his nanna’s house, who is actually a pretty awesome singer. Thus, I have absolutely nothing funny to say about him.

Madam – Hook Me Up
This was about as convincing as the last time a shy, sweet Idol (Lisa Mitchell) “did” The Veronicas; on threat of death encouragement from Darren, Madam tried sexing herself up, which apparently involves wearing a black pillowcase from Best & Less along with fingerless gloves, and walking back and forth over the stage. She’s SEXY!

Who will go this week? I put my bets on Teale, Sophie and Roshani in the bottom three, with Sophie to go.