Australian Idol Round-Up: Australia, This Is Your Final 12
While it took team Defamer a little while to get over the tragedy of a) James Spargo not getting through to the Top 12 and a.i) James Spargo actually turning out to be a bit shit (although he gets points for saying his baby son could “put it in lots of different holes” when discussing what genre he tends towards), last night the 2008 Final 12 was revealed (eight of them have already been bought domain names by Sony BMG) and, gee whiz, what a bunch of champeens they are. (Also, the Cadbury gorilla ad ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE, so imagine what it’ll feel like in two months’ time!) Let’s hold hands and head over the jump to discuss their prospects, shall we?THE FINAL 12
Chrislyn Hamilton: The mistress of the hilarious head bob from the much-loved Can You Feel It campaign, Chrislyn will likely treat us to a grab bag of tracks by Aretha Franklin, The Bell-Rays and Aretha Franklin, before bowing out “too soon” in a flurry of concerned words from Marcia “Welcome” Hines.
Wes Carr: Wes is already a SERIOSE MUSO, so he will be this year’s Bobby Flynn (though with less “full mong” action) and will create interesting arrangements that carry him along on a bed of judge praise before the little girls turf him in about week six for someone with less threatening facial hair.
Thanh Bui: Thanh is obviously a great singer, but the one thing I kept thinking through his auditions/performances, based on the tone of his voice, was, “DUDE, WHY AREN’T YOU SINGING TOUCH OF PARADISE?” Seriously: the voice of Farnsey in the body of a boy-bander; he can’t lose!
Tom Williams: Didn’t this guy’s voice keep threatening to crack during all of his performances? How did he even get through? This year’s Lauren. Unless his “big brothers” in the house introduce him to poon and booze, in which case things could get interesting! Stealth Christian? Perhaps.
Mark Spano: Mark fits the competent but dull contemporary rocker bill, and will perform something by one or all of the following – Live, Keane, Coldplay, The Screaming Jets.
Teale Jakubenko: Who? Am I the only person who managed to completely miss this dude?
Madam Parker: Clearly a great voice and an intriguing personality, but I get more than a subtle hint of the Emily Williams/Rebekah LaVauney “emotionally fragile” from her. Will Madam snap a bitch? Or will she just sing lots of Alicia Keys and Whitney Houston?
Brooke Addamo: If she does that twitchy nose/Bewitched thing once more, I will cut it off (her nose). Could be this year’s Natalie Gauci; you choose whether that’s a good thing or not. My local supermarket is pushing for Brooke supremacy; you choose whether that’s a good thing or not.
Roshani Priddis: Duh, she’s amazing! Will either go All The Way, or will crash and burn in a Ricki Lee/Bobby Flynn-esque tragic early exit; wildcard status means the little girls may not necessarily be on side.
Luke Dickens: He sounds like an oxen being raped with an air-horn. “Diamond in the
rough”? More like an inanimate carbon rod.
Sophie Patterson: Despite her resemblance to Hayley “Milky Tea” Jensen, Sophie is a winner. Which naturally, like Roshani, means she probably won’t be the winner. Can someone remind me of previous judge-favoured wildcards’ strike rates?
Jonny Taylor: Please, please let him do Temptation by The Tea Party and cop a spray from Kyle about song-choice. Also, he will wear PVC pants on rock night. Mark my words.
Now it’s your turn! Who are your picks? Who is making you ralph into your Sunday night Lean Cuisine? Who do you want to see die a fiery death by bad song choice?
- Next Post: Paula Abdul Accidentally Swallows Own Tongue During ‘Rachael Ray Show’ Brownie Binge »
- « Previous Post: Today in Toronto Hell: Anne Hathaway’s Shoes, Michael Cera’s Backpack, Guy Ritchie’s Vision
Comments
Don’t knock the gorilla, it’s the only watchable thing about this whole Idol crapfest.
Chryslin – One of my faves, but I dare say the powers that be are still “big-girl shy” from the whole Casey Donovan debacle (Oh, what’s that you say, it’s up to the public? My bad…)
Wes – Yup, another of my faves, but everyone who loves Wes is too old to know how to use those newfangled sms machines…
Thanh – Agree whole heartedly with you – an Asian Farnham.
Tom – pfffft – OMGZ WE LUV YOU TOM!!!!! SMS SMS SMS
Mark – Mark has great potential, like him muchly.
Teale – Once again, in agreement with you, extremely forgettable.
Madam – Love her voice, but can’t get the image of those blowfly sunglasses out of my head.
Brooke – She’s got the look and the voice, I’m liking her more each week (despite the cutesy twitchy nose, not because of it).
Roshani – She’s got the voice, but for some reason I’m reminded of Apu from the Kwiki Mart every time I see her.
Luke Dickens – Loved the last song he sang, hated the rest. Time will tell.
Sophie – Sorry, I can’t stand her, but it looks like I’m in the minority. Couldn’t understand a word of her last performance, in the words of the immortal Holden, it was “goony goo goo”
Jonny – I was pissed when he got through, ’cause Nicole Banks was sitting behind him oozing talent and destined for nothingness. jonny-teale-mark-luke is too much testosterone for one show. Bring back Brooke Wilkie and Nicole Banks…
Idol 2008 – I just don’t care this year. Is it me or are they all just plain boring? And as for Marcia. Her comments are just odd this year. Has she been told to put the knife in a little more. I wanna see her without her wig.
First, a moment of “wholehearted” mourning for the passing of Spargo. Don’t they have his domain too, which is a little unfair if he decides to “strike out on his own”?
I think I already dislike Madam, which is what my mother used to call me when she was really angry. There are spots ready and waiting for Sophie and Madam in the Young Divas.
I think Roshani is this year’s Chanel Cole: ie, the person who irritates me immensely yet other people inexplicably like her self-conscious, determinedly mediocre stylings.
At this stage I am most interested in Thanh and Jonny.
I rather liked James too. There y’go. You know what really gets me re Idol and comments? The fact that so many detest it WHO WATCH IT! Now, really. I don’t watch ANYTHING I don’t want to. I mean, there’s buttons to push, and remotes n things. So – for any bigmouths passing by – just try and exercise the brain and fingers eh?
Some I really like, some I was really disappointed because THEY got in, and my choices didn’t. But I’ve got a thing for Wes, hope he can keep growing and improving. I’m not a big Idol watcher, mainly listen to others and if they start to get excited (really excited I mean) I might give it a glimpse to see what the excitement’s about. But I did see and hear Wes and was totally impressed. But now its time for pressure and whether they can cope with that.
The domain names thing… well that’s understandable, because of what happened in the 2nd year There were problems re a COUPLE of domain names there, so SONY obviously want to go thru those again. Axle did good. Nice to see Carl, Guy Sebastian’s guitarist there too, clutching the guitar given to him by Steve Cropper, Duck Dunn, Lester Snell and Steve Potts when they were touring with Guy earlier this year. (Nice to know that there is much more to come on that score)
Not sure about this Teale fellow either, he just sort of appeared. The official Idol website has revealed all I need to know about him – his favourite colour is teal (I am not joking). Also:
Please complete this sentence: ‘I first realised I wanted to become a professional singer when…’
I listened to Rick Price’s voice for the first time and craved to be able to sound so good like him and to do the things he can do vocally.
What is your favourite song? Please tell us why you love that particular song.
My favourite song to listen to is Incubus “Are You In”, I can never skip it no matter what mood I am in. But, my favourite song of all time, for all reasons is Rick Price “Heaven Knows”.
Ba-bow.
It’s all about Thahn I reckon. I am hanging for him to sing ‘Take The Pressure Down’ in Australian Chart-toppers week (or whatever variation of that theme they come up with).
And he will undoubtedly belt out ‘You’re The Voice’ on the Opera House stage.
Also, Spargo, I miss you, I love you, we barely knew ye. :(
LMFAO @ “DUDE, WHY AREN’T YOU SINGING TOUCH OF PARADISE?” Seriously: the voice of Farnsey in the body of a boy-bander; he can’t lose!” That is sooo true. Exactly what I’ve been thinking the whole time. I nearly choked on my breakfast laughing at that (yes, some people have brekfast at 11.30am!!)
From what I recall, both Anthony Callea and the Gauch were wildcards – and Natalie was a judge’s pick, no less.
I was a little sad that no Spargosity entered the Top Twelve, but in part because they spent fully five minutes at the end of the show telling all the performers to come back next year, and he wouldn’t be able to because he’s 30. 8 Days without naming your son is a bit odd, though.
Awful lot of blokes with no discernible personality, though.