Attention Australian Liberal Party Members: Malcolm Turnbull Is Your God Now

Poor Brendan Nelson. From the second he took over from John Howard after the resounding election defeat last year, everyone was thinking “Dude is a Band-Aid that’s gonna get ripped off and thrown away once the wound isn’t quite so icky to look at anymore” and he was like “No, for real! I am leader! And quite popular! Look and marvel as my colleagues appreciate me and support me!” and Malcolm Turnbull was all “Hey bitch, call me when you’re done cleaning my office and I’ll move my stuff in” and… well, I’ve run out of idiotic things to say on this topic, and wahey! Did you see that the Libs decided to go with Turnbull after their Top Secret Ballot this morning?

Malcolm Turnbull is the new leader of the Liberal Party after beating Brendan Nelson in a ballot in Canberra this morning..

I suppose that means that Brendan Nelson’s earlier confidence -

Dr Nelson said he was “very” confident of having the support of his colleagues, and if re-endorsed would be asking the party to draw a line in the sand and mark a transition for the Liberals.

- was rather misplaced.

Mr Turnbull won the ballot by 45 votes to 41, Chief Opposition Whip Alex Somlyay said , with Julie Bishop to retain her job as deputy leader, which she was unopposed for.

I met Julie Bishop last year. She was like a suburban fembot.

The Liberal Party will hold a press conference at 10am (AEST) to discuss the result.

I remain, as ever, completely gripped… by the DVD of The O.C I’m in the middle of watching as we speak.

MORE: Turnbull takeover complete (news.com.au)