A Miserable Steven Seagal And Richard Dean Anderson Christen All New Class Of Geek Squad Protection

To roll out their all-new level of Black Tie Geek Squad Protection (the geeks arrive in stretch limousines, carry silver trays, and are all named Giles), Best Buy enlisted the celebrity services of “Four Icons of Protection, Steven Seagal, Richard Dean Anderson and Tanya Roberts,” according to the press release. (That’s just three, but who’s counting?) Our Zune-taunting cousins at Gizmodo were there to catch all the excitement. Sadly, despite the best efforts of the emcee urging him to, “Take this pack of chewing gum, a pogo stick shaft, and a box of nail filings, and make something blow up already!” MacGyver proved to be about as mechanically minded as our mom.

Seagal, however, was even more of a disappointment, throwing a fit as soon as he mounted the stage over the intensity of the stage lights. You’d think someone with as much experience starring in a string of marginally beloved martial arts movies, and shredding his blues away on the El Rey stage, would be accustomed to the hot glare of theatrical lighting. If we had to guess, however, we’d say his vampiric reaction might have to do with flashbacks to the powerful lamp shoved into his face by overzealous FBI agents trying to connect the actor to the Anthony Pellicano racketeering scandal.