Saturday, September 20, 2008
Lasting Impressions
10:20AM Seth | Tina Fey does Sarah Palin does Tina Fey does Sarah Palin. But who did who better? And does it really matter? Obama, sadly, does nobody. His $9 million-a-plate dinner sells out, but there’s not nearly enough buttah on it. Here’s a hint hint, pali pal: Lindsay Lohan’s got no time for you narrow-minded, media-obsessed, moose-stalking types. Pat O’Brien gets a little too hopeful. Yes he’s canned! Megan Fox still can’t get the pungent scent of Nikita’s perfumed thighs out of her mind. But did Nikita ever really exist? “I’m Fucking Tim Conway” takes all the Creative Arts Emmys. The first major 90210 cliffhanger has Luke Perry’s DNA all over it. You don’t worry about Ben Silverman. Ben Silverman’s got things all worked out. Hey hey—it’s The Mumpees! No wonder Shenae Grimes is so grumpy. Now eat, tzatzkeleh, eat! MTV VJ-alum Dave Holmes weighs in on the end of the TRL era. New from the Franklin Mint: Shia LaBeouf’s Keepsake Pinkie Nail. “I don’t care how you do it. Just kill the mouse.” How can we put this gently? While you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, Diablo Cody was jamming toxic silicon toys up her arse for money. There! That wasn’t so bad. “Listen to me, Death: You are a rude, thoughtless little pig!” Lynne Spears: mother, author, lost-childhood investigator. Matt McConaughey’s new movie made $36,497, or $36,457 more than Katherine Heigl’s Zyzzyx Road. And finally, please press your white linen slacks and join us right here, for a spectacular Emmys liveblog presided over by the inimitable S.T. VanAirsdale. We’re predicting he’ll win and she’ll win. It’s going to be a hoot!
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Star’s Chimp Romance Exposed!
8:30AM STV | We don’t know about you, but were starving. And nothing hits the spot at the end of a grueling week in the mines like a Dirt Sandwich, crafted with loving, homemade goodness by Defamer videographer Molly McAleer. This serving is stacked high with homoeroticism, slathered with Blonsky sauce, dashed with a hint of Sarah Palin and squeezed between two hot slices of Mario Lopez. Garnish with a sprig of Ellen Pompeo/primate-makeout mystery, and serve hot! Now that’s living. And because we’re generous like that, we’ll even share a bite after the jump. Enjoy! More »
MSNBC Psychics Attribute Record Profits To Next ‘Shrek’ Film
8:10AM STV | MSNBC reports today that based on adjusted ticket prices, the record-breaking summer Hollywood just enjoyed at the box office in fact hosted 5 percent fewer moviegoers than 2007. Even The Dark Knight was subject to a particularly troubling reality check, with the as-yet-unproduced Shrek 4 surpassing its unprecedented money-making prowess. Now that is phenomenal. Next up: Watch Iron Man 3 shatter Harry Potter’s impossible dream in 2009. [MSNBC] More »
Defamer Predicts the 2008 Emmys: The Dramas
4:50AM Kyle Buchanan | We’ve already run through our predictions for Emmy’s comedy categories, but now it’s time to sit down for forty-four minutes (excepting commercials) and soberly judge this year’s crop of dramas. Again, we’ll be blogging the Emmys live from the East Coast starting at 7pm EDT/4pm PDT, so if Mariska Hargitay lets loose with an expletive-laden diatribe or Jeremy Piven has a nip slip on the red carpet, you can be sure we’ve got it covered. Now, onto the predictions:
Defamer Predicts the 2008 Emmys: Comedy Edition!
3:40AM Kyle Buchanan | It’s just two days before television’s biggest event (that isn’t the American Idol finale, the Oscars, or a political convention speech), and we at Defamer are gearing up to fulfil all your Emmy needs — at least, the ones that don’t involve white linen slacks. Don’t forget, we’ll be blogging the Emmys live from the East Coast starting at 7pm EDT/4pm PDT (West Coast spoilerphobes, beware: the Emmys air here tape-delayed). So who do we expect to be taking home the hardware? After the jump, get our official predictions in the Emmys’ comedy categories (for dramas, head right here):
Tinkerbell, If He Catches You You’re Through
3:00AM Seth | We were awoken in the middle of the night from our slumber-drawers here at Defamer HQ by a frantic security guard—an avid dog lover who won’t shut up about Beverly Hills Chihuahua—simply beside himself over reports that two of Paris Hilton’s 17 dogs were devoured by coyotes. More »
Is Kathy Griffin About To Tell Bravo To ‘Suck It’?
2:40AM Kyle Buchanan | Like a gentrified neighbourhood that has just seen the arrival of its first Bed, Bath & Beyond, cable channel Bravo is on the verge of losing its most important audience — the gays — as they migrate to parts unknown. Just recently, Project Runway decided to pull up shop and move to the suburbs of Lifetime, disappointing cablemates like Top Chef and Flipping Out, who assumed Runway would always be there to party with them into the wee hours of a shirtless last call. Now, another mainstay may depart; according to Page Six, Kathy Griffin is ready to move her Emmy-winning My Life on the D-List to someplace a little higher in the alphabet: More »
