Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Stops On The Way To Lesbian Town
5:27PM Jess McGuire | · Best Friends Foreverville
· Lingering Glance Heights
· First Jolie Dream Harbour
· Port Sleepover Fumbles
· Curiosity Piqued Park
· Party Pash North
· Tequila Slammersberg
· Orgasm Heights
· University Experimentation Ponds
· Attraction Bends
· Di Franco Creek
… LESBIAN TOWN!
MORE: I did kiss a girl and I LOVED it! (Emily Everywhere @ Courier Mail)
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YouTube Clip Of The Day
5:07PM Jess McGuire | Today’s clip comes from esteemed Crunchy poet Anthony (of previous Clip Of The Day fame).
More » ROS REINES, ARE YOU OUT THERE?
3:27PM Jess McGuire | Oh Holy Gossip Maven and Revealer Of Sydney Society Secrets, was that really you defending yourself on that daft Ricki-Lee post from earlier this afternoon?
Oh c’mon guys, give me a break – where’s your sense of humour? MIA?
You have no need to defend yourself around these parts – you’re Ros Reines! Like Denny Crane, but with a Double Bay twist! I’ve been reading you since I was knee high to a grasshopper and desperate to know exactly what hors d’oeuvres were served on Derby Day/who John Singleton was squiring about town. You’re like a god to me. You, Lillian ‘And he said “Lil, darling…”‘ Frank, and Angela Bishop. An ANZAC veteran of gossip! Don’t let our piss-taking ways get to you. We’re just brash and young and without the contacts you have (Facebook? I gotsta get me some of that!)
In answer to your questions:
a) Our sense of humour is on a Contiki tour of Europe. Haven’t heard from it in the last couple of weeks, but our last correspondence revealed it had picked up a Polish dude named Bazyli, and also something which, judging by the symptoms listed, sounded suspiciously like gonorrhea.
b) I like MIA. I heard she retired, but the popularity of ‘Paper Planes’ after it was used in the movie Pineapple Express might be enough to lure her back into the music world.
Finally, I note you have a website with amazing blind items. I HAVE ADDED IT TO MY FAVOURITES, NOW ADD ME TO YOUR HEART.
Yours in total earnestness,
The Editor More » Mark Holden, You Can Throw Me A Carnation ANY Day!
2:31PM Jess McGuire | Surely I’m not alone in saying that every time I saw Mark Holden giving constructive and totally clear advice to potential Idols over the past few years, there was something deep inside of me screaming “BANG THAT! MAKE IT TAKE ITS SHIRT OFF! PRECIOOOOOOOUS!” like some sort of wild beast suffering from carnation-induced carnal desire… am I right? Right?
(sound of crickets chirping)
Well, I don’t care if I’m alone. I’m going to enjoy the picture of a shirtless young Mark Holden (hidden after the jump) I just found, and silently mouth the words “I do” over and over and over. More » 
Sandilands On Beckham’s Appendage: “He’s Got It Going On”
1:11PM Clem Bastow | In the scheme of “unpleasant mental images”, it’s probably safe to say that the idea of “King” Kyle Sandilands at the urinal probably ranks with, as the old Austin Powers line goes, Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day (or, while we’re on the topic, Alexander Downer wearing that old stockings and high heels get-up – BUT WITH NOTHING ELSE). So how kind of Sandilands to forcibly enter the nation’s imagination with a little anecdote he couldn’t help but tell about the time he perved on David Beckham’s knob accidentally shared a bathroom with David Beckham.
Sandilands told listeners to his radio show that he had been “in the toilet at Villa nightclub in LA and there’s only two urinals in there, it’s very small”.
Hold your horses, those of you in the back – he means the toilet is very small. Carry on, Kyle! More » Ricki-Lee In Swimming-Costume-On-Holiday Porn Shock!
12:56PM Jess McGuire | REET REET REET! This just in at Defamer Australia’s Two Day Old News Desk TM. Hot on the heels of pop star and Australian Idol host Ricki-Lee Coulter’s husband’s gay porn non-scandal, comes the shocking revelation by Sunday Telegraph gossip columnist Ros Reines that Ricki-Lee wore a bathing suit whilst chillaxing on the beach in Thailand! HAS SHE NO SHAME?
No sooner had husband James Babbington been mistaken for family friend Aaron Crawford on the X-rated site Straight Australian Guys J…Off, than Australian Idol host Ricki-Lee Coulter has been getting into the act by posing half-naked on Facebook.
OMG! Tell me more, Ros Reines, you bloody genius! More » 
Kylie Tour Tix: Blink And You’ll Miss Them!
10:25AM Clem Bastow | Did you get ten kinds of excited when Kylie Minogue’s Australian tour was announced last week? Did you spend days practising your dialing reflexes? Did you commit your credit card number to memory and then rehearse spitting it out in double-speed? Did you do one-handed push-ups to the tune of Better The Devil You Know, just because? You’d better hope you had (except maybe the musical push-ups), since tickets for Kylie’s December tour were gobbled up at ludicrous speed when they went on sale yesterday:
Fans have snapped up tickets to Kylie Minogue’s Australian concerts with lightning speed, both shows selling out in just two minutes.
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Paula Abdul Accidentally Swallows Own Tongue During ‘Rachael Ray Show’ Brownie Binge
9:34AM Seth | It’s really not the end of summer until Paula Abdul salivates over a Tupperware container filled with Rachael Ray’s delicious Klonopin-chip brownies. Side note: We believe that video breaks the world record for on-camera time in which Ryan Seacrest remains completely silent. [RR] HBO’s online arm HBOlab is launching a new web series starring YouTube microcelebs. At least one passionate YouTube critic is aghast at the results. [YouTube Reviewed] Requisite Annoying The Dark Knight Sequel Casting Rumour of the Day has Michael Caine confirming Johnny Depp and Philip Seymour Hoffman will play The Riddler and The Penguin, respectively. We stand by our assertion, however, that Hoffman was born to play The Kangaroo. [MTV] We know we dumped Defamer Job Listings, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still pass along an opportunity here or there: “Verso Entertainment is looking for an office/personal assistant for company President Cash Warren (yes, J. Alba’s producer hubby). Work with Cash personally and with his new website ibeatyou.com which launched Spring 2008. Agency experience preferred.” [Mail To] Remember how much fun we had with the Scatalogical Madonna Song Title Game? Well, just wait for Anus Blanket Bingo! [big. crush.] More »
Australian Idol Round-Up: Australia, This Is Your Final 12
9:11AM Clem Bastow | While it took team Defamer a little while to get over the tragedy of a) James Spargo not getting through to the Top 12 and a.i) James Spargo actually turning out to be a bit shit (although he gets points for saying his baby son could “put it in lots of different holes” when discussing what genre he tends towards), last night the 2008 Final 12 was revealed (eight of them have already been bought domain names by Sony BMG) and, gee whiz, what a bunch of champeens they are. (Also, the Cadbury gorilla ad ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE, so imagine what it’ll feel like in two months’ time!) Let’s hold hands and head over the jump to discuss their prospects, shall we? More » 
