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Posted by Jess McGuire at 4:02 PM on September 5, 2008
No biting political commentary here, folks - we won't mentioned pregnant teenage daughters, ass kickin' future son-in-laws, rumours of affairs, gun toting good times, or anything like that.
I just liked this photo.
Posted by Jess McGuire at 2:06 PM on September 5, 2008
So Morris Iemma is no longer NSW Premier, eh? This saddens me. Not because I particularly liked him - I moved to Victoria quite soon after he took over from Bob Carr and never really had to deal with him. But his last name sounded a little bit like "Yeah, mate!" which I think is rather nice. I wish all our politicians had such positive surnames.
Morris Iemma has resigned as NSW Premier at a party meeting today.
Sometimes, when it comes to human interest stories, the planets align, the moon is right, God and Allah smiles upon the newspapers of the world, and you get a perfect balance of story, context, quotes and unintentional comedy - so, celestially speaking, it must be a good day today: Australia, meet Alwyn "Bones" Bailey. The "concerned dad" has been quoted after his son Morgan, nine, was attacked by a rogue wallaby in far north Queensland, and I think I speak for the entire nation when I say "GIVE THIS MAN A TELEVISION SHOW, STAT":"It's deadset serious. Someone should get a gun and shoot the buggers," Mr Bailey said. "They're not just friendly, cute little wallabies any more - they're killers."
Posted by Clem Bastow at 11:19 AM on September 5, 2008
If you'll forgive me for that incredibly dull headline, when it comes to this particular piece of Winegums news, I am afraid (and a little ashamed, and slightly nauseated, and then a bit concerned, and possibly even confused) that the Herald Sun have beaten me to the punning punch with this one: "Amy Winehouse goes back to Jack Daniels". Well, it would've been funnier had they just left it at "Back to Jack", which is why I am dry-retching with shame and sorrow at not having been able to make the pun, BUT ANYWAY:Amy Winehouse stunned organisers of a music festival she is due to headline, but ordering a whopping 48 bottles of Jack Daniels, according to a report.
Posted by Clem Bastow at 10:30 AM on September 5, 2008
A week or so ago, something started rumbling in the Dashboards of bloggers using the Tumblr platform. Podcast and online ephemera Tumbelog Internet Enthusiast Daily posted an MP3 that will surely, when iMacs and old laptops are dug out of the rubble of the 21st century, come to be seen as the defining zenith of modern popular music; a piece of music so moving, so incredible, it surpasses everything we thought we knew about music itself - hell, about life. It was titled "David Lee Roth - Running With The Devil - vocal track - screaming only version". Of the piece, they mysteriously said:
Kia posted the original, but we felt that taking out all the gaps and actual "singing" was a moral imperative.
It is pretty much the greatest thing you will hear in your lifetime. Prepare to update your ringtones and personal anthems, it's Diamond Dave time over the jump.
Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:53 AM on September 5, 2008
While I would dearly love to report that Delta Goodrem was busted bringing a load of weed into the States in her Bratz boogie-board bag, or that she tried to set up an international marmoset-smuggling ring, or that Brian McFadden is actually her employee and he brings condoms full of crack into the country for his drug baroness fianceé, unfortunately this story is not quite that exciting and we will have to wait until another day to see Our Delts embroiled in a My Drug Hell™-esque debacle - for now you will have to make do with this tale of Delta being held up at customs as she chases that great US music industry dollar sign in the sky. Australians arriving in LA on the Qantas flight from Sydney early on Wednesday morning told Confidential Goodrem's rocker "costume" of blonde bouffant hairdo, a sequinned beret and black-rimmed "nerd" glasses drew the eye and ire of a female customs officer, who grilled the singer
Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:15 AM on September 5, 2008
You might think that after Australian Idol pitched Damien "Scary Falsetto" Leith into the world of rapturous RSL audiences, morning television appearances and hilariously earnest mega-selling covers records (an inspiration, no doubt, to warbling AFL stud Russell Robertson), he would have nothing but positive spin to feed this year's bunch of wide-eyed hopefuls. How refreshing then (well, relatively speaking) to see the snaggle-toothed Oirishman telling it like it is to the Class of Spargo (and the rest of them):"It's been two of the most gruelling years of my life," he said.
· Say what you want about this act from last night's America's Got Talent—we're just thrilled to see the Gay Man's Chorus of Los Angeles keeping themselves busy in the chorus off-season. [AGT]
· So those two "two sharp young writers" Dan Aykroyd mentioned are hard at work on Ghostbusters 3 are The Office co-EPs Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. Pam + Slimer 4ever! [Variety]
· Sarah Palin attended five colleges in six years before graduating from the University of Idaho in 1987. Also, she burned down a library after she found out the Moosewood Cookbook was vegetarian commie propaganda. [AP, Boston Herald]
· Howie Mandel earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today, which came with a smaller matching star in an aluminium briefcase. Because he's made his biggest impact on a popular game show featuring people screaming at briefcases, you see. Oh... never mind. [Getty Images]
· Attention all drug addicts currently loitering near or around Kirsten Dunst's hotel room: your days of villainy are numbered! [Yahoo]
· And the same goes for you, female strippers in Australia accused of sexually penetrating the bachelor! [news.com.au]
Last night's premiere of the latest cycle of America's Next Top Model unveiled this season's epic theme—"As sci fi as we can possibly make this using things found at a dollar store"—to much squealy delight from the carefully selected pool of regular- and plus-sized replicants. While the audience seems to be dwindling for such catwalk-crawling minstrel shows (the ratings hit an all-time low), the series is to be commended for never failing to adapt and innovate. Take, for example, the introduction of exciting Glamonator 11.0 technology: A more sophisticated descendant of the Sleeper Orgasmatron, it's capable of producing an amazingly convincing hologram of a completely-over-it reality hostess who wishes she could fold up shop on this ghetto-arse exercise in model-search futility to spend more time on her Emmy-winning talk show. Smile with your circuits, ladies!
Elisabeth Hasselbeck flew into Minneapolis today to host a luncheon for the terrifyingly taut-faced First Lady candidate Cindy McCain, and though The View's resident conservative has hardly hid her feelings on the presidential election, she's also remained relatively mum on the subject of Michelle Obama — until now. The two women met for the first time when Obama guest-hosted The View in June, and Hasselbeck's catty comments may ensure that the visit was Michelle's last. Says the New York Times:
VMA FYI: In news that will surely please his favourite white girl Scarlett Johansson, Kanye West has been picked to close out this year's VMAs (which will be opened — in some fashion — by Britney Spears). Since it's the ceremony's 25th anniversary, the network says we can expect winks to MTV's past including Christina Aguilera returning to reprise "Genie in a Bottle," and Katy Perry essaying Madonna's "Like a Virgin." And just like at this year's MTV Movie Awards, we'll be live on the red carpet Sunday evening causing havoc and liveblogging our hearts out. But unlike the '07 VMAs, this year's event looks like it might actually be able to hold our interest, thanks to the addition of the unpredictable Russell Brand as host. Let's just hope they don't let Eva Longoria Parker near him — MTV couldn't afford the FCC fine if those two got into water sports again. [MTV]
Whatever your impressions of would-be bank robber and generally overrated fantasy maven Guillermo del Toro, his new long-term pact with Universal can't be the kind of thing that rouses too much confidence in his growth and versatility — even among fans. After his five-year commitment to The Hobbit, the filmmaker will reportedly return back to his Hellboy backers for four films in as many years. And if/when we ever write our book on the End of Ideas epidemic sweeping Hollywood, his unique stretch from this year's sequel Hellboy II to one of three remake possibilities in 2017 may be worth an entire chapter's worth of consideration:
Next Time, Cool Out With A Cruller. Pasadena native Bryan Curiel approached a trio of women at a doughnut shop in Newport Beach Sunday, and was promptly told to leave them alone. A few minutes later, they left the store, at which point Curiel sped his car directly at them—going "at least 50 mph." Curiel only managed to run over one of their feet before crashing into a nearby concrete bench. He's currently being held on $1 million bail, and charged with several felony charges including attempted murder, for which he'd get life in prison if convicted. Moral of the story? Don't just say yes to the first guy who asks you out at the doughnut shop. He could be crazy! [cbs2.com]
Amid all the gala premieres and Earth-shattering Paris Hilton controversies gripping Toronto as its film festival gets underway, only one subplot in particular has managed to coax psychoanalysts and romantic advice gurus alike out of their plush-lined caves. And to be honest, we can't believe we didn't think of it sooner: What should exes Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston — both in town with new films — do should they bump into each other on some congested red carpet, or while picking up one of those delicious sausages on Bloor Street? That's heartburn enough — but it doesn't have to be crippling, argues today's Globe and Mail:
When we pointed out last week that potential veep candidate Sarah Palin bore a strong resemblance to Tina Fey as Liz Lemon (except for their stances on important social issues), never did we imagine the proof would come in the form of this Life cover from September 2004. Striking a remarkably similar pose to her current Rolling Stone spread (what is it with her and men with ties?), Fey needs little else besides an exotically named brood and a hilarious accent to complete her remarkably accurate Palin impression. In fact, according to Poynter Online, the cover shoot may have given John McCain some ideas:
Best Friendsies! Ignore everything you've heard about Paula Abdul hating that miserable, no-talent bitch Kara DioGuardi—aka the hotter, younger, more talented Paula recently added to the American Idol judging tribunal. It turns out, they love each other, just like the press release from Mike Darnell originally said they would! "Abdul told Page Six: 'The 'American Idol' cast was such a boys club, now I have a true sister to share the fun with. It's been amazing.'" Now does that seem remotely coerced? Of course not. [NY Post]
· "Ashley Judd is set to star with Dwayne Johnson in 20th Century Fox comedy Tooth Fairy." You know what's notable about that sentence? The absence of the words "The Rock" anywhere inside it! His transformation is complete! [Variety]
· Cable spinoff fever! Both The Closer and The L Word have spinoffs in the works. [THR, Variety]
· Voltron: Languishing in Turnaround gets a director: Max Makowski, who also wrote the Hawaii Five-O movie, and is attached to direct a movie version of the David Carradine series Kung Fu. His previous credits, curiously enough, include an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. [Variety]
· You, Me and Dupree and Arrested Development directors the Russo brothers are writing and directing the movie version of Ciudad, a graphic novel about a hostage negotiation on the Paraguay border. [Variety]
· ABC has ordered a pilot of Mark Burnett's The Shark Tank, which features aspiring entrepreneurs pitching their business ideas to moguls, then dropped through trapdoors into giant aquariums filled with hungry sharks. It's a hilariously literal take on life in the high-stakes business world! [THR]
For sheer, head-exploding hubris and pride, everyone knows that nothing in the industry rivals the first day of going to work on a Michael Bay film. (Though, to be fair, the thrilling last day of going to work on a Michael Bay film is never far behind.) And bless their hearts, Wal-Mart of all places underwrote an unprecedented first-hand peek of the magic behind the myth in this video from the set. With his custom "Bay-os" ("a/k/a Chaos!") Nikes all but winged and greased to better aid his propulsive shooting style, the iconic fauxteur brings it all down to Earth with an admonition to have fun, be safe and "make a lot of kids' dreams around the world." No Shia sightings here, alas; look for the eventual follow-up from Day 65, this time co-sponsored by Blue Cross and Johnson & Johnson CelebriSplints™ — your pinkie-saving partners in the greater LA area and beyond. [YouTube via /Film]
Well, if the McCain campaign lacked a little something called star power—and let's face it, the guy is about as fabulous as Mr. Magoo with hemorrhoids—then that gaping hole was filled by...wait, let's reword that. Um...drill, baby, drill? Ugh, nevermind. There's no way we are going to get around sexualizing America's newest superstar hockey mum and lipstick-smothered graduate of the Michael Vick Canine Attack Academy, Sarah Palin! But don't take our word for it. Just look at these numbers:
Dogs and Cats Living Together: "If I could interest Seth [Rogen] and Judd [Apatow] to be part of [Ghostbusters 3], that would be an absolute dream," says OG Ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd to E!, according to Slashfilm. The formerly proton pack-clad Aykroyd reveals that two writers are currently working on the sequel, though at this point, there is no information on how much male full-frontal nudity (or how many ad-libbed pop culture references) the Apatow-aspiring trio plans to include. [Slashfilm]
While the record-breaking premiere of 90210 has left certain stars smiling (and smiling, and smiling), some of the franchise's original cast members have better things to do than stand around and flash those pearly whites for a measly 12 share. Take Jason Priestley, for example, who showed up to Nike's 10k Global Human Race in Los Angeles this week with his teen-dream sideburns upstaged by a massive, world-beating beard. Looking less like Brandon Walsh and more like the homeless man Brandon Walsh invited to Thanksgiving, Priestly was also kind enough to share his curt thoughts on the CW re-do:
Valkyrie. It's that rare movie which, without even having been released, has already managed to break free from its celluloid constraints to become a genuine state of mind. ("How you feeling?" "Oh, a little Valkyrieish, you?" "Same.") We all know the story by now: Odd flight of historical fancy by Nazi-obsessed director Bryan Singer; Tom Cruise signs on, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Col. Shtuffel Von Klingenhauser, the movie's famed Hitler-hunter; mishaps and flatulence follow, Nazis are injured and sue; and its studio crumbles amid a round of musical release dates. But through it all, has anyone actually seen this thing? According to E! Online, top secret testing is currently underway at an undisclosed location somewhere in Nevada known only as Area Einundfünfzig—and what they are learning there is nothing short of astonishing:
While we found yesterday's 8,000 word New Yorker profile of Alec Baldwin to be an engrossing (if entirely too long) read, we were able to find one person who was less than impressed by Baldwin's long-winded rants about the perils of being impossibly rich and famous: My Name Is Earl creator/executive producer Greg Garcia. In the piece, not only did Baldwin blast the suits who run NBC's programming and promo departments for "wring(ing) the last drops" out of Thursday night comedy staples like Earl and Scrubs while 30 Rock is treated like a "red-headed stepchild", he also indirectly criticized the quality of said shows by labelling both as "done" and "cooked." Naturally, this irked Garcia, who spoke exclusively with Defamer this morning about his thoughts on his show's performance, 30 Rock's ratings and, of course, Baldwin himself:
The Toronto International Film Festival didn't wait until today's kick-off to find its first controversy: Rumours hit last weekend that Paris Hilton's camp is hustling behind the scenes to derail the world premiere of the all-access documentary Paris, Not France. Early word was that the Hilton clan in general was less than pleased with its depiction in the film, directed by music-video auteur (and daughter of Tom) Adria Petty; as such, her people demanded TIFF programmers drop every screening but one scheduled for Sept. 9.
When Californication star David Duchovny announced he was checking into sex rehab, Fox News columnist Roger Friedman suggested it was due to an internet porn addiction — a theory that didn't sit well with our commenters, who remembered a suddenly relevant blind item about a TV star who'd been following extras off the set for some very special "overtime." Today, the NY Daily News rebuts Friedman and confirms the latter rumour, hearing from the National Enquirer that Duchovny's wife Tea Leoni was on to his elaborate scheme to trade sex for SAG vouchers:
Anticipation is building steadily for the release of Lynne Spears's Through The Storm: A Real Tale Of Fame And Family In A Tabloid World, a sort of My Life by Bill Clinton for the absentee parenting set. As luck would have it, the National Enquirer has secured an advanced copy of the three-time grandmother and world class permissivist's memoir, in which she weighs in with astonishing honesty about her powerlessness over her teenage daughter's extra-curricular activities:
On one hand, we're right there with the folks challenging the ugly, disproportionate media scrutiny faced by gay celebrity couples. Seriously! Why shouldn't the likes of Courtenay Semel enforce their B-list bedhopping privileges with relish, and why should marrying material like Sam Ronson get a bum rap for being a no-good, disc-spinning, Lohan-using exploitation artist just because her girlfriend happens to drop by her increasingly well-compensated DJ gigs?
After a handful of outlandish Batman 3 casting rumors recently trickled online in a impressionistic stream of semi-consciousness, we may have found one that not only can't be attributed to a fanboy crack binge, but may actually be... true? And for the six of you who haven't yet seen The Dark Knight, spoilers follow, so consider skipping ahead: Aaron Eckhart, whose Two-Face/Harvey Dent ended up as killed as any TDK character got without going through the necessary franchise terminus of burial/cremation/being chopped into pieces, confirmed this week that, yes, his villain is dead, and no, he will not be returning in any forthcoming Batman sequels. That is, Eckhart added, if there are any Batman sequels to be made at all — at least with Christopher Nolan overseeing things:
Last night's premiere of the latest cycle of America's Next Top Model unveiled this season's epic theme—"As sci fi as we can possibly make this using things found at a dollar store"—to much squealy delight from the carefully selected pool of regular- and plus-sized replicants. While the audience seems to be dwindling for such catwalk-crawling minstrel shows (the ratings hit 
For sheer, head-exploding hubris and pride, everyone knows that nothing in the industry rivals the first day of going to work on a Michael Bay film. (Though, to be fair, the thrilling 
