Wednesday, September 3, 2008
This Is A Fairly Good Example Of What We Do All Day
2:48PM Jess McGuire | An excerpt from a Gmail chat between Your Editor and Clem “CLAM BESTOF” Bastow just then.
Clem: I’m still LOL’ing at the “online blog”
Clem: What are some other alternatives – I wrote in my diary the other day, it’s what the kids are calling a “paper blog”
Jess: Hahaha
Jess: I was telling a story the other day at the pub
Jess: You know, posting on my verbal blog
Clem: Hold on Jess, I might ring you – we need to update our telephony blog
Jess: My mother’s on life support
Jess: or as i like to call it
Jess: her breathing blog
We’ll go write some real stories now.
PS: We really shouldn’t take the piss, you know. This version of the story disappointingly cuts out all mention of an online blog called defamer.com.au! More » 
AFL Surprisingly Not Keen On Players Wearing Nighties, Monster Cocks In Public
1:30PM Clem Bastow | As reported yesterday, Carlton’s Brendan Fevola was looking festive on Mad Monday when he hit the bars of Federation Square along with his teammates, donning a floral nightie, pink cloche hat and giant rubber dong that looked just precious with his eye colour. In a stunning development, the AFL (and the government, and the Australian Family Association, and…) has reacted with disappointment to the Blues’ star’s latest bout of public revelry (who can forget that old “pissing on the wall of the Police station” chestnut) and while they’ve not made it clear if they’ll extend their “Mad Monday” party pooping (or is that “poopering”?) to the entire league, Victorian Premier John “No Fun” Brumby is hopping mad.
“You expect footballers to have a bit of fun and let off a bit of steam at the end of the year but you don’t expect them to parade around Federation Square in public the way these footballers were.
Yes, yes, very good – now do you want to see VIDEO FOOTAGE of Fevola’s comedy knob? Of course you do. More » 
Is Sony BMG Cybersquatting Idol Domain Names?
12:26PM Clem Bastow | Given that last year Sony BMG could barely bring themselves to sign Idol winner Natalie Gauci (and then half-heartedly offered a contract to Matt Corby, which he duly rejected), one could assume the grand old days of five or six finalists ending up with a deal of one form or another were well and truly over. But could the label be placing its bets on certain Idol ‘08 contestants’ future success by cybersquatting, if you will, their official domain names? One eagle-eyed Defamer informant seems to think that’s the case. So said the mysterious and no doubt handsome Robert in an email to us:
After watching the first episode I decided to look up some of the contestants domain names and found that Sony was the owner.
More » 
YouTube Clip Of The Day
12:21PM Jess McGuire | Oh my GOD. This has to be one of the most amazing YouTube Clip Of The Day videos we’ve ever posted around these parts.
As described by the user who uploaded the footage, “This cat, as raised by a woman who is batshiat crazy, eats with a fork and chopsticks.”
Yup, that’s pretty much it.
I am gobsmacked and delighted. More » 
If You Run Into Nicole Kidman Today, You May Notice Her Grinning Ecstatically
11:25AM Jess McGuire | All those hours spent with her Jamie Fawcett voodoo doll, tearing up his pretend cash and cutting up his pretend credit cards before jamming his pretend camera up his doll bot-bot, have finally paid off for Nicole Kidman, it would seem.
Her arch enemy Mr Fawcett, a notorious paparazzo, has just declared himself bankrupt.
Freelance photographer Jamie Fawcett has confirmed losing a defamation case which called Kidman as a star witness has proved his financial ruin.
With legal bills reportedly in excess of $1.6 million following the judgement against him earlier this year, Fawcett told Confidential yesterday he was formally bankrupted on August 29.
And how did all this come about? Apparently Jamie Fawcett didn’t like the Sun-Herald referring to him as Sydney’s “most disliked freelance photographer”.
More » 
JetstarGate: Carla Bonner Says Defamer Australia Report “Not A True Account Of What Happened”
9:51AM Jess McGuire | Following on from yesterday’s troubling report of a verbal spat between Neighbours star Carla Bonner and a Jetstar flight attendant, the Daily Telegraph has helpfully contacted the actress to see whether our tipster Daniel’s version of events was an accurate account of the tongue lashing or whether it was, in fact, total bullshit.
We would have called you ourselves to do the same thing, Carla, but we don’t have your number! Also, I’m on pre-paid and phone calls can really eat in to the thirty bucks, you know?
Here’s what the Daily Telegraph had to report after their no expense spared investigation into the incident.
Neighbours’ Carla Bonner was barred from catching a weekend flight for reportedly letting fly with a Gordon Ramsay-style spray over baggage. The angry actress, who plays Steph Scully on the Channel 10 soap, was intending to travel from Melbourne to Newcastle for an overnight trip with personal trainer boyfriend Jason Shepherd before she was grounded by Jetstar staff for her diva outburst at a check-in attendant.
The mother-of-two, who yesterday denied the particulars of the exchange…
Wait, what? It actually happened? Good lord, what an unexpected turn of events. I’m now gripped by this story, and we’re the ones who broke it in the first place.
Back to the Tele: More » 
$500K Jackpot Awaits Lucky Owner of Josh Hartnett Sex Tape
9:40AM STV | Until the inevitable reports that the whole thing was rigged to help square up with tax collectors in Michigan, we’re more than happy to spread the all-call for a copy of a rumoured sex tape featuring Josh Hartnett and an unidentified lady friend in London. The duo was reportedly caught by closed-circuit security cameras during a tryst in a hotel library; a handful of spies gathered around, only to squirm in “awkward silence” as the rendezvous dragged on. More »
Demelza’s Fainting Fit Acquaints Her With New Friend, Karma
9:23AM Clem Bastow | After the announcement of teen bully and sook-face Demelza Reveley left Australia’s Next Top Model viewers throwing their Foxtel remotes at the television in disgust, those on Team Tiny Mouth were at least able to be safe in the knowledge that none of the industry big wigs were really thrilled that Demelza was their new charge; Vogue Australia’s Kirstie Clements even devoting an entire page of letters (from herself and readers) in the current issue, which features Demelza’s winning shoot, to set the record straight. Said Team Tiny Mouth members will no doubt be supping on the sweet, sweet schadenfreude this morning, then:
Controversial Australia’s Next Top Model winner Demelza Reveley was recently rushed to hospital after she fainted.
More » 
9:20AM Defamer Hollywood | Palin Fever: Celebrities the world over are fired up about potential VP Sarah Palin and eager to weigh in with the fruits of their opposition research. The latest multi-hyphenate to opine is Albert Brooks, writing on the Huffington Post under the barely disguised pseudonym “A. Brooks.” “Do we want a president who cannot communicate to their own child that possibly having a baby a year after you get your driver’s licence is not the smartest thing to do?” asks Brooks. “Is this the new way for women to break the glass ceiling? To have their daughters throw their babies at it?” Perhaps not, but it would sure make for a hilarious summer tentpole at 20th Century Fox! [HuffPo] More »
