Why are we taking the mild bunch out of the equation?

TillieHarper

That oldest Jonas is 20. And speaking of triad Mormon tweeny-popper brothers, weren't all the Hanson's married by that age? No sex until marriage, but marriage is at 17. This latest crop of Disney purity ring enthusiasts is entirely composed of "technical virgins." Miley's porny pics scream of burning hormones. Kids, it's natural to want to fuck. Wear a condom, use some discretion, and go to town. Who benefits from this marketing gimmick anyway--none of us seriously believed Britney was a virgin and I doubt people bought her records because of her "virginity." Besides, the "Virgin Stamp" usually just suggests creepy, over-bearing, born-again parents. Speaking of which, they forgot Shaved Koala.

NoWireHangers

Also still a virgin: Lady Elaine Fairchild.

A Pimp Named DaveR

Virginity is a useless and outdated concept.

DramaClub

@bess marvin, girl detective: is the virginal jonas also teh gay jonas?

LLH

@Booksaretoo: I understand your point, but then again, I doubt if we see children as being MORE pure after they start having sex like adults. It's not scary, it just means that kids are more innocent (and more "pure", if you will) than adults.

Losin_it

@bess marvin, girl detective: I doubt the claims of nearly all of them.

Fry_Bread_Power

two out of the three jonas brothers are not virgins and i know that for a fact.

bess marvin, girl detective

Does anyone else think its exceptionally creepy that all of these young people (when I say all I mean the ones that might actually be virgins) equate virginity with purity and sex with impurity? That's both really dumb and really scary.

Booksaretoo

@NoWireHangers: Those Hanson boys don't exactly belong in the "religious/purity/abstinence" category. Especially since Taylor's wife was preggers when they got hitched (when he was 17). Don't ask me how I know all this... what can I say, I heart Hanson.

LuckyEmmie

Mike Myers is a virgin, right?

ronaldpagan

Judging by the pervy hits I get on my blog, there's no shortage of guys willing to help Selena Gomez out with her problem.

Pop Socket

@eirestar: or should I say, I don't know why it's notable that Cyrus/Gomez are.

eirestar

News at 11: 15-year-old girl is virgin!

I would imagine the majority of 15/16 year old girls in this country are virgins, I don't know why people are surprised that Miley Cyrus/Selena Gomez are.

Now if Miley's still proclaiming her virginity at 25, that's less probable.

eirestar

Isn't this more of a Molly Friedman beat? What happened to her?

Desk_hack

@bess marvin, girl detective: I swear, I only let Joe finger-bang me while Kevin watched. But that Nick is such a prude.

kookla

@LLH: i don't know about that, but i am a little surprised that they so blatantly lie to their fans. why proclaim to be a virgin when you're clearly not? did the media ask them about it or did they talk about it first? i don't know, but two of them have already dipped their balls in the sea of sex.

bess marvin, girl detective

YEAH - pernicious double standards!!!!

NoGrumpys

You know what's sad about that slideshow? Once upon a time, Britney really was a pretty, healthy-looking girl.

paxetaurora

Does molestation count?

Breadbowl

Goddamnit....

Either they're saying this for the benefit of doped-up, sanctimonious neo-victorians that still persist in this society, or they're truly hopeless and deserve to lose their virginity to a cattle prod.

Demosthenes7898

Julianne Hough has never been a virgin in my mind, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Old No.7

Has Gary Coleman ever considered that his prickly uptightness might have something to do with the fact that he's not getting any sweet ass?

RonMwangaguhunga

I saw a porn movie titled Star Virgin once; the title character is being raised aboard a spaceship by a robot who is explaining the facts of life to her, and wraps things up by deflowering her him(it?)self. As per usual, the most entertaining thing about the movie was the awful theme song.

halloweenjack

I would marry Phil of the Future.

Victor Ward

I actually assumed that all this virgin talk was for male consumption period. The whole having-something-no-one-else-has-had, the innocence, the vulnerability. I figured it was because some men are terrified of sexually experienced women.

I've never really known women to care that much. My mother never went through my cds wondering, "Yes, the music is good, but is the artist's cherry popped?" At least, not to my knowledge she didn't. Besides, Queen was a little obvious...

Ultimately, whose fucking business is it that a girl is a virgin or not? Am I the only one who thinks this is an incredibly intrusive, vulgar question? You might as well as how many abortions a pop star has had.

I prefer celebrity celibates. Like Morrissey.

BitchyMcGee

Since daisy-chained, incestuous, gimp-costumed, rump-busting-with-full-penetration humping doesn't count, the Jonahs still make the list.
Thank gods the same dorks that obsess about "purity" are the same ones with stunted imaginations when asking celibacy-related questions.

Trai_Dep

Oh, they're virgins... ever since the re-virginizing ceremony... Can someone please do some sort of hard-hitting journalistic expose on this?

paradisefound21

Oh my god this goes along with Jessica Simpson's virginity description. Fucking HIlarious...

At 12, the Baptist-bred singer was given a purity ring by her father. She kept her commitment until her wedding with Nick Lachey. "I definitely think [abstinence] is the best birth control," she once told MTV. "I know that condoms are not a hundred percent, because I'm here because of a busted condom. I can say that right now. I am here because of a busted condom."

It explains a lot...

julijet