Unfortunate Looking Women Of The Nation, Mount Isa’s Desperate Men Need YOU!

The Mayor of Mount Isa, the very switched on John Molony, has attracted some criticism over the weekend. Why? Because this brave and sensitive fellow, distraught at the idea of ugly women being passed over for love in the big smoke when the desperate menfolk of his small hometown would be perfectly willing to put them to good use, made a public appeal for the aesthetically challenged females of the nation to make the move to Mount Isa and service the sexual needs of his doodle-owning constituents.

A severe female drought has gripped Mount Isa, but Mayor John Molony thinks he has the answer: ugly girls.

To be fair to Mount Isa’s pimp-mayor, he did word his appeal a bit better than that. It was rather poetic, actually.

“May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa,” Cr Molony said.

“Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness. Often those who are beauty-disadvantaged are uphappy with their lot. Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa where happiness awaits. And, really, beauty is only skin deep. Isn’t there a fairy tale about an ugly duckling that evolves into a beautiful swan?”

Inspiring stuff, and certainly enough to get Your Editor packing her suitcases in anticipation. It reminded me of those wartime advertisements for ladies to do their part for the country.

Sadly, some bra-burning harpies can’t see the good in what John Molony is attempting to do for Mount Isa, or indeed, the good he is trying to do for women everywhere with faces like smashed crabs and a deep, aching loneliness in their lives.

Domestic violence resource worker Shirley Slann also called for the Mayor to publicly apologise. “It’s a public attack on women and a form of verbal and emotional abuse,” Ms Slann said.

“It paints the women here as second rate and suggests the men will settle for anything. I think it’s quite disgusting. If he wants to come and visit our service, I’m more than happy to have a yarn to him about what he’s saying.”

Mount Isa Chamber of Commerce manager Patricia O’Callaghan said Cr Molony could expect a “fierce backlash”.

“They’re very archaic comments. I don’t think he realises the repercussions of labelling women based solely on their looks,” she said.

Sounds to me like you selfish bitches don’t want to share in the bloke bounty! Well, screw you. I’m moving to Mount Isa anyway. I’ll be bringing a jumbo pack of condoms and a paper bag for my head, and you won’t hear from me until I post details of the nuptials which will no doubt follow on from my highly successful move up north.