The 2008 Olympics literally have us 19 ways of excited at Defamer HQ, where we've retrofitted our dungeon workspace with one television for each of the NBC channels broadcasting the summer games. But don't get the wrong idea — we couldn't care less about the pole vault or women's rowing. No way. We're talent scouting, babe, in search of the next Olympian to break through the ranks as a Hollywood star. It's kind of a ritual around here, really, going waaayyyy back to the days when our old-media ancestors at the Defamer Star-Courier foretold gold-medalist swimmer Johnny Weissmuller's ascent to fame as Tarzan.

Alas, for every Kristi Yamaguchi who wins Dancing With the Stars, there are a dozen others whose athletic gifts fail to blossom into entertainment careers. Defamer videographer Molly McAleer has dug deep into our archives for a few of the most dramatic missteps and failures, from Bruce Jenner's ill-advised turn in Can't Stop the Music to Mary Lou Retton's less-than-convincing '80s-era battery pitch. May the limits of their championship spirit be a lesson to all those going for the gold in '08. We'll be watching. (Read more coverage of the 2008 Olympic Games.)

5. Bruce Jenner, You Can't Stop The Music

4. Mitch Gaylord, American Anthem

3. Mary Lou Retton, Energizer Commercial

2. Tonya Harding, Celebrity Boxing

1. Carl Lewis, Get My Money

Tags: bruce jenner | carl lewis | clips | lists | mary lou retton | mitch gaylord | olympics | tonya harding | top