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Should Jean-Claude Van Damme Start Writing His Oscar Speech?
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:35 AM on August 23, 2008
Though the French have a knack for embracing the most embarrassing elements of American culture, not even Jerry Lewis could have prepared us for JCVD, the shockingly acclaimed Cannes sensation featuring washed-up action star Jean-Claude Van Damme. A postmodern drama that stars the Muscles from Brussels as himself, we've brought you the awkward teaser trailer (wherein Van Damme stumbles upon a JCVD casting call, then argues for a more believable character motivation: cocaine) and now we're happy to announce that Peace Arch Entertainment has picked the film up for U.S. distribution.
There's just one problem:
...namely, Peace Arch kind of sucks. Though they occasionally give halfhearted, unprofitable releases to Sundance duds like Chapter 27 and The Go-Getter, they're far more adept at putting out straight-to-DVD titles like the Tom Green snowboard comedy Shred and something called American Poop (unrated edition!). We'd trust them to release a Lou Diamond Phillips actioner, but JCVD isn't that run of the mill. Just check out this excerpt from Variety's review:
Freshly spurned by preteen daughter, jetlagged from trip back to Belgium, and electronically dissed at the hometown ATM, JCVD loses his cool while seeking a post-office wire transfer of euros, only to find he has stumbled into in-progress heist for which he'll be blamed by cops — and credited, oddly or not, by hordes of placard-waving fans (e.g., "Free Jean-Claude!").
As before, bulky thesp's acting is as flat as his pecs are sculpted, but here said limitations are more clearly part of joke within hollow mirror world, where JCVD loses key role to Steven Seagal because latter negotiated to topline sans ponytail.
All this, plus the film ends with "a tear- and prayer-filled Van Damme monologue that must be seen to be believed"? Peace Arch, don't screw this one up — hasn't a man who once popped a boner on live TV (and in bleached jeans, no less) been through enough already?
- Peace Arch gets "JCVD" [Variety]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Cultmember
Posted 3:20 AM 23/8/08
Jean, stop making the Clive Owen face...it's disturbing!
Cultmember
Le Retour de la revanche de la Nouvelle Vague
Posted 3:19 AM 23/8/08
JCVD was more interesting in concept than in execution because the director and the writers try to prove themselves more clever than they are. The basic idea is to have Van Damme star as himself in a not-so-hidden remake of "A Dog Day's Afternoon" (one of the gangsters is even a John Cazale look-alike) and they use flashbacks and different point of views to make the movie "artier". The grayish photography hurts by the way. Belgium might be boring but not that boring. When I realized it was a Canal + production with some people attached to the French TV channel responsible for the original idea and the screenplay, I knew what to expect.
But it's true that the only moment of truth in the movie is the Van Damme monologue, which is actually a tracking shot. It isn't entirely coherent, as Van Damme isn't really articulate (and has been mocked often for it) but you know it's sincere and unpretentious (which is Van Damme's redeeming quality).
Le Retour de la revanche de la Nouvelle Vague
queensissy
Posted 3:42 AM 23/8/08
It's actually Peace Arch, though Peach Arch sounds much more delicious on a summer day.
queensissy
Leviticus_71
Posted 4:44 AM 23/8/08
So, lemme get thi straight, there's no Kickboxer 2 in the works? Bullshit!
Leviticus_71
Kyle Buchanan
Posted 4:40 AM 23/8/08
@queensissy: Thank you, fixed. Gotta say, though: "Peach Arch" sounds a hell of a lot less direct-to-DVD. They should go with it.
Kyle Buchanan
queensissy
Posted 8:31 AM 23/8/08
@Kyle Buchanan: Better than Puce Arch, certainly.
queensissy
raincoaster
Posted 12:33 PM 24/8/08
Wow, I would love to see something like this with Jon Voight. He's completely insane, but the aura of sadly decayed awesomeness still clings to him somehow.
raincoaster
nltisme
Posted 2:39 AM 25/8/08
This would have been sooooooo much better with Gary Busey as his Guardian Angel. He'd truly bring the crazy!
nltisme