Scotty’s Final Mission Ends in Weary, Waterlogged Disgrace

Amid all the fuss of Century City bomb threats and advances in ‘retard’-positive cinema, we regret overlooking the genuinely awful news that recently befell the family of late Star Trek actor James Doohan. To wit: Old Scotty’s ashes, previously intended for a intergalactic resting place via a SpaceX rocket, made it exactly no miles above the Earth before crashing into the Pacific Ocean with scores of other folks’ cremains — 208 in all. But Doohan was the only one whose son, upon the third and final attempt to successfully launch the craft, was invited to write a eulogy for Boing Boing: