Respected Newsman Anderson Cooper Mistakenly Assumes Ali Lohan Is 60

· We should really watch CNN more often: A spoonful of Big Gay Bitch Anderson Cooper’s ultracatty insights into the Lohan clan really helps the hard news go down. [CNN]
· Whew—that was a close one. Mary Kate Olsen is officially off the hook after the U.S. Attorney’s Office closes the case on Heath Ledger’s death. [People]
· Gawker urges journalists covering the Olympics to search out the next Tonya Harding. “Why? Whyyy?” Ah—that never gets old. [Gawker]
· Mr. Blackwell is at death’s door! (Death looks hideous by the way—that cloak is so drab and dowdy.) [ETOnline]
· Canadians are not as nice as previously assumed. [Yahoo]