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Our Sleep Will Be Haunted By The Child Actor Goons Of The 'High School Musical' Reality Show
Posted by Seth at 6:47 AM on August 13, 2008
What better way to cool down in the summer heat than with a frozen reality turkeycicle, aka High School Musical: Get In The Picture? We had yet to encounter the kids vying for whatever it is this show is promising—we assume some sort walk-on role on High School Musical 5: Pregnancy Pact!. But we figured, "Hey— aspiring child actors competing for our hearts and votes on a competitive talent show, what could go wrong?" A lot, it turns out.
What better way to cool down in the summer heat than with a frozen
The series is presided over by host Nick Lachey, who has apparently been directed to address the contestants as if they were kindergarteners on a field trip to the local industrial bakery. Nick: this is not a step in the right career direction. And speaking of the contestants: Where did they find this many teenage weirdos? It's like they managed to round up every junior high kid across the country who'd tell on you for drinking at a sleepover because it "just didn't sit right," dangled the promise of fame in front of them, then turned the cameras to capture their creepily eager smiles and emphatic head-nods as the world's most patronizing day camp counselor ovvverrr-eeenunnnnciiiiates a lecture about the importance of cooperation. We want to beat them up! Where's our little bendy-toy, Victoria? Ahh—there you are. Better. Much better.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Old No.7
Posted 7:28 AM 13/8/08
Remember contestants, Vanessa has set the bar pretty high for bush maintenance... so expect to take it to the next level on this amazing journey of yours.
Old No.7
NoWireHangers
Posted 7:26 AM 13/8/08
Relax, Seth. Montré is just teaching the kiddies valuable life lessons. In their pure Disney youth, a toothsome smile and a twinkly wink can be used to communicate a need for affection, food, and a grateful look towards the heavens. Years from now when they realize their reality show stint amounted to nothing more than the high point in a life comprised of bitter, unfulfilled dreams, the bloodshot twitch of a wonky eye and a toothless grin will communicate an aging body for sale, a craving for a rock of tina, and a life lived with one eye out for the popo.
NoWireHangers
misterdirky
Posted 7:20 AM 13/8/08
Brianna?! Christy?! Hmmm. The beginning has bad-porn overtones with Nick playing Pizza Boy #1.
misterdirky
Leviticus_71
Posted 7:18 AM 13/8/08
Wow...it's too bad they didn't do this challenge on a Phish lot. I've gotten food, blank looks in the sky, and hugs from just about every Patchouli laden grilled cheese vendor i've come across.
Leviticus_71
kookla
Posted 7:56 AM 13/8/08
I love how they send these kids off on an assignment to approach strangers in a world where you can get beheaded on a Greyhound bus for minding your own business.
kookla
Glass_Family
Posted 8:48 AM 13/8/08
Montre is highly-skilled at connecting with strangers in men's bathrooms.
Glass_Family
goldfarb
Posted 10:47 AM 13/8/08
I feel and ashamed of myself for watching the clip just for the possibility of boobs...and feel bad for the soon to be gone fat kid already...the poor bastard.
goldfarb
Lulamaybelle
Posted 12:13 PM 13/8/08
Montre needs to not talk with his hands.
Lulamaybelle
kylo4
Posted 8:01 AM 14/8/08
This is so bad it's not even funny. It's cringe worthy.
kylo4