Okay, Who Let Michael Bay Into The ‘Home & Away’ Editing Suite?

If there’s one thing you’ll notice about Channel Seven at the moment – you know, apart from some small sporting event they seem to be covering – it’s the intensity with which they are promoting all their post-Olympics programming (which they have rather dramatically titled “After The Olympics”, which sounds a little “post-9/11″ for my liking), whether it be Packed To The Rafters, Make Me A Supermodel or, most notably, Home & Away. Now, I’ve long since switched from Ramsay Street to Summer Bay, but it seems that in the past fortnight since I last saw an episode, my favourite “drama serial” has turned from a mildly melodramatic soap to an all aerial-tracking, all dramatic-orchestral-bursting megaplex epic that gives Highlander a run for its money. Come over the jump to see the promo that, if you watch with your eyes closed, you could be forgiven for mistaking as the trailer for the latest Hollywood blockbuster.

Okay, so I know this much: that the “wrong guy” has a bone to pick with Roman because he (Roman) was in charge of the battallion that killed “the wrong guy’s” brother in the Middle East. But that’s where all familiarity with what the blinking heck is going on ends for me! Where did he get a crossbow? Why is Roman climbing mountains and running around like Rambo? Since when has there been a tropical island just off the coast of Summer Bay? Why is there so much screaming?? And where did they get the money for so many slow-motion tracking shots and explosions?

Can anyone explain any of this to me? I mean, as Aussie soap cliffhanger promos go, it’s pretty impressive, but still!