Keanu Chooses Not To Wear Trinny

Sometimes the stories that the gossipmongers come up with are so hilariously ridiculous they end up existing in a sort of lyrical, absurd stratosphere well above the usual varieties of “Lindsay orders a drink” or “Jennifer Aniston is dating John Mayer” tattle. One such stroke of brilliance in showbiz page-quota-filling is this corker from the Daily Mail featuring everyone’s favourite bird-like What Not To Wear co-host, Trinny Woodall:

She may be battling to save her marriage, but Trinny Woodall also seems preoccupied with establishing a close friendship with Hollywood actor Keanu Reeves.

The What Not To Wear presenter has just returned from Los Angeles, where I understand she tried more than once to set up informal meetings with Reeves – but he failed to respond, and even snubbed a dinner party in her honour.

[...]

‘Trinny met Keanu through a friend in London and they really clicked,’ says a source.

‘Trinny was desperate to meet him again in LA.

‘She asked Amanda [Eliasch, Trinny's artist friend] to throw a welcome dinner for her and the plan was for Keanu to come along to the party last weekend, but he didn’t show. Trinny was really disappointed because she was hoping they could catch up.’

Excellent work, everyone involved! The Mail should run a requests line, sort of like a madlib for gossip journalism, where people can suggest celebrities and scenarios to feature in future coverage. For example: “Russell Crowe”, “Blanche D’Alpuget”, “Sean Lennon”, “IKEA’s kitchenware department”, “Sunday”, “snow cone”, “Vaseline” and “a ride-on lawnmower”. Put it all together and watch the magic happen!