Ernest Borgnine Has Discovered the Fountain of Youth, and It Is Masturbation

91-year-old actor Ernest Borgnine doesn’t look a day over 86, and so it was that when the Golden Globe-brandisher stopped by Fox & Friends to chat about his new book, the hosts demanded to know how he could still look so darned good. Botox? Volumizing? A deal with the devil (or ICM)? None of the above, replied the actor, instead leaning in to whisper, “I masturbate a lot.” Sadly, Borgie didn’t appear to realise that his mic would still pick up those whispers and beam the Oscar winner’s chicken-jerking secret across the globe. Still, we can’t wait for the day that masturbation becomes an age-defying staple of salons everywhere (though we’ve heard there’s some “health spas” in West Hollywood where it’s already common practice). [Fox News]