Emergency Drag Squad Called In To Rescue Lamest ‘Runway’ Cast Ever

Whatever investment we still had in Project Runway—the once-great, now-irritating sartorial decathlon presided over with an iron fist by Teutonic Sealfucker Heidi Klum—it was quickly sapped away by last (Lipstick Jungle!) week’s corporate synergistic (Lipstick Jungle!) episode guest-judged by Brooke (Lipstick!) Shields (Jungle!). Still, challenges are at hand, models require fittings, and various Its are in need of being made to Work; so we trudge ever onward, swallowing our basest designophobic tendencies as we endure a violently unlikable bunch.