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Andy Dick Will Not Stand For These Charges, Or For Peeing
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:25 AM on August 26, 2008
And now, another installment of "You Win One, You Lose One" (Andy Dick edition)! Win: The troubled comedian, who was accused of sexual battery for pulling down a 17-year-old girl's top at a chicken joint in July, has now seen his charge downgraded to a mere assault (though he'll still face four other misdemeanor charges related to the incident). Lose: According to TMZ, the arrest report for the incident includes the following unforgettable anecdote:
"... Dick was escorted back to the holding area ... At one point I noticed Dick sat up from the floor and his pants were soaked from the waist area to the ankles. Dick has just urinated on himself."
"I asked Dick why he didn't tell me he had to use the restroom again, Dick stated that he did not want to knock on the window like a caged animal."
Dick then rose up defiantly, saying, "You can take everything from me — my drunken roasts, my N-bombs — but you, sir, cannot take away my dignity!" Having made his triumphant point, Dick then stripped down, bit a warden on the breast, and collapsed into a puddle of his own filth while murmuring, "Eat your heart out, Lovitzzz..."
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Pay_Me_Or_Pay_Me_No_Attention
Posted 10:47 AM 26/8/08
It amazes me how often the world can't clearly see a case of bat shit crazy when it stares it right in the face, and gives it attention instead of just moving on...
Why do we give Andy Dick attention? He is just a guy who is supposed to be in a straight jacket, and isn't.
Pay_Me_Or_Pay_Me_No_Attention
Miss Anne Thrope
Posted 10:08 AM 26/8/08
He's giving Nick Nolte a run for his money.
Miss Anne Thrope
WGARefugee
Posted 11:59 AM 26/8/08
I used to defiantly urinate on myself to get my point across. I thought of it as a kind of performance art. I had a lot of chutzpah when I was two.
WGARefugee
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 1:15 PM 26/8/08
Villagers. Torches. Pitchforks. Noose. Tree. Please.
Tiger_Tanaka
IamXenu!
Posted 3:45 PM 26/8/08
Aw, Andy... why so serious?
ha-ha! ha-ha! ha-ha!
IamXenu!
WGARefugee
Posted 5:03 PM 26/8/08
I think my new favorite zen koan is "Dick has just urinated on himself." Satori!
WGARefugee
Cacafuego
Posted 1:18 AM 27/8/08
Two points to make
1) Animals don't routinely knock on windows unless they're primates or trained bears.
2) Somewhere in Hollywood, right this minute,John Lovitz is rehearsing the dance he will do on Dick's grave.
Cacafuego
RonMwangaguhunga
Posted 5:14 AM 27/8/08
separated at birth: Andy Dick and "garth" from Wayne's World?
[meltyourfaceoff.files.wordpress.com]
RonMwangaguhunga
NoGrumpys
Posted 5:44 AM 27/8/08
April Winchell gave him her corn
She's nice like that
NoGrumpys
Whiteboyfunfark
Posted 5:00 AM 28/8/08
Aside from a few other generally more entertaining activities, dicks DO urinate as a primary function....
Whiteboyfunfark
kylo4
Posted 12:53 PM 28/8/08
Wow, even crappy "celebrities" like Andy Dick are treated like they're above everybody else. Great system running here.
kylo4