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A 'Pineapple' Upside Down Cake
Posted by Seth at 2:15 AM on August 12, 2008
Does Death's double-dipping have you disturbed? Fret not—we have an easy way to ward of the scythe. Simply slaughter a baby lamb in your office kitchen, collect its blood, then paint that along your cubicle's entrance. The Angel of Death will then skip your workspace to reap the annoyingly high-pitched temp working next door. Enjoy these box office numbers, along with your freshly spared life:
1. The Dark Knight - $26.03 million
Tripping up most of the world's most esteemed box office prognosticators—even us, and we're never wrong!—once again was bat-eared juggernaut The Dark Knight. Like a seasoned welterweight pro who knows the fight has 12 rounds, Knight ceded to Pineapple Express until Saturday, when it surged ahead of the stoner crime opera to easily take the weekend. Children, take out your chalk and slates: Plus $26.06 brings us to $441.5 million, making it...? That's right: the third-highest-grossing domestic film of all time, ahead of Shrek 2, poised to creep ahead of Star Wars for the slot behind Titanic by this week's end.
2. Pineapple Express - $22.4 million
Just as the Pineapple kids were firing up a Friday afternoon fatty and declaring that Batman, in no uncertain Korean terms, should "prepare to suck the cock of karma!" they were served up a lung-singeing cloud of Badpod dust. No matter: $40.4 million in five days is better than any dead-of-summer comedy has any right to do. Judd Apatow can proudly carve another notch in his bedpost, moments before an exhausted Seth Rogen rolls over and keeps his creative life-partner awake all night with deep, satisfied snoring.
3. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - $16.113 million
ATTENTION: Hazardous toy recall. If you recently purchased a Rick's Wheelie Motorcycle for your child as part of KFC's The Mummy promotional tie-in, destroy it at once. Your child won't choke on its small parts (the way they do on the accompanying meal's chicken wing bones), but they might start emulating the heroics of Brendan Fraser—potentially forcing you to sit through an entire showing of The Mummy itself.
4. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 - $10.77 million
Now showing at West Hollywood's Tomkat theatre in conjunction with this sequel's opening is The Brotherhood of the Travelling Chaps 2, an all-male, S&M-themed take on the touching story of a circle of lifelong friends bound by their mutual affection and previously agreed-upon safe words.
5. Step Brothers - $8.9 million
We literally have nothing left to say about Step Brothers, so we'll let star Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly do the talking with Step Brothers Duel—an interactive viral marketing effort sure to cheer you up on this death-filled Monday! (We couldn't get the image upload to work. Figures.)
- WEEKEND BOX OFFICE August 8-10, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
gadge
Posted 3:00 AM 12/8/08
I have still never seen one minute of Titanic. I refuse to ever see one minute of that film. Thank you.
Smugly yours,
gadge.
gadge
misterdirky
Posted 2:35 AM 12/8/08
I saw Batman and Mamma Mia within hours of each other and I must say, blended together, it was like a big swishy trannie version of Heat.
misterdirky
Shumina
Posted 2:30 AM 12/8/08
I guess it's unrealistic to hope that a movie as good as The Dark Knight to topple the juggernaut of Titanic in a fifth of the time, but seeing the numbers drop by around half each time is discouraging. Maybe we needed more romance in TDK?
...nah. It's still perfect even after about a month of tarnish.
Shumina
JudgeFudge
Posted 3:23 AM 12/8/08
Even if Pineapple Express couldn't beat Batman this weekend, let's at least try and see things from David Gordon Green's point of view. In less than one week, his newest film outgrossed the entire combined lifetime box office of his previous flims up to this point by at least 39.5 million...
JudgeFudge
Fama Est
Posted 3:21 AM 12/8/08
@gadge: While that is admirable, I wonder if there could be many people who missed the boat too. It just doesn't make sense that Tit' could have an audience evenly distributed across the population (eg. the Tyler Perry audience was probably absent). There must have been a dedicated group of compulsive philistines pushing the numbers higher. Like that Mel Gibson jesus movie -- Wasn't it just a lot of church groups and/or klan meetings that did most of the heavy box-office lifting?
Fama Est
Fama Est
Posted 3:56 AM 12/8/08
@NoWireHangers: I see. Very interesting, particularly how you went from laugh to cry in multiple viewings; truly the film's most special effect.
Fama Est
gadge
Posted 3:40 AM 12/8/08
@Fama Est: That makes sense, but still, most of the people in my life have seen that film. I wonder how many screens it hit worldwide, and was that a particularly awful year in film?
gadge
NoWireHangers
Posted 3:37 AM 12/8/08
"There must have been a dedicated group of compulsive philistines pushing the numbers higher. "
@Fama Est: I was a freshman in high school when Titanic set out to see, and as such, I can tell you first hand who contributed to its box office glory. While Leo wasn't as hot in Titanic as he was in Romeo+Juliet, we still saw the movie (pretty sure it was) 3 times in the theater. One of the viewings was a birthday party. The first 2 times I laughed when the ship sunk (and was reprimanded for my sacrilege), but pretty sure I cried the 3rd time. God, I'm so ashamed. Haven't seen it since then, but Titanic-mania last for months.
NoWireHangers
nolongerinacubiclestillawhore
Posted 5:07 AM 12/8/08
A friend saw Step Brothers and liked it. I'm now a little wary of said friend.
nolongerinacubiclestillawhore
Jack of Some Trades
Posted 7:25 AM 12/8/08
I remember the week in 1998 that Titanic finally got toppled in the box office. The culprit? The Matt LeBlanc-helmed "Lost in Space." May God help us all.
Jack of Some Trades
spikespeigel
Posted 12:04 PM 12/8/08
Four weeks. Four times I've shelled out dough for TDK. And four times I've walked out extremely satisfied. December can't come fast enough for the Blu-Ray release.
spikespeigel
Sasquatch
Posted 12:20 AM 13/8/08
@gadge: I envy your ignorance. I got swept up in the Titanic fever when it released, and really enjoyed it the first time. I watched it a second time, and was able to focus on the fact that it may be the worst script ever written. It's really just awful. I hope TDK can take that piece of garbage off the top of the charts.
Sasquatch
hummingpenguin
Posted 3:35 AM 13/8/08
Seth, Judd, you seem like cool guys and all, but I want my money back. PE sucked hard.
hummingpenguin