A Peek Inside Ellen And Portia’s Guest Book: CNN Bigotry, Katherine Heigl’s Misery, and T.R. Knight’s Dream

By all accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi’s Saturday wedding was a stunning and intimate affair, the two beautiful brides eliciting audible gasps from the guests as they walked down the aisle, trailed closely behind by Iggy the Flower Dog tossing mouthfuls of white rose petals. Obviously, the world bids these two rapturously-in-love and talented ladies a lifetime of happiness together, though it’s interesting to see how those good wishes sometimes play themselves out. For starters, we have CNN’s headline on the nuptials, noticed by blogger Chexydecimal, which reads, “Ellen DeGeneres ‘marries’ Portia Rossi.” After complaints were lodged, they pulled the scare quotes—floating there like two chubby, hooked televangelist’s fingers—but kept De Rossi’s last name wrong.

T.R. Knight’s internalized, anti-breeder wrath nearly ruins the wedding video, after the jump!

At the other end of the spectrum comes a video greeting card from People.com, where Katherine Heigl opens the well-wishes with a thoroughly exasperated, “Marriage…[defeated exhalation] marriage…” Glad you’re loving it, Kath! Then, T.R. Knight swoops in to give what could very well be the most depressing congratulatory wedding message in history. He almost cracks a smile near the beginning, then pauses thoughtfully for an uncomfortably long moment before launching into a diatribe about “the anger, and rage, and rage, and sadness” he feels at the many wrongs inflicted by this country upon, presumably, Caucasian males making seven-figures a year such as himself. Thank God Jason Biggs is around to add a little—you know—happiness to the proceedings. This dude loves marriage! And breeding! He’s a marriage-loving, breeding machine!

• CNN “Reports” on Ellen Marriage [chexydecimal via Jossip]
• Ellen’s Wedding Singer Gushes Over Ceremony [Poeple]