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A Peek Inside Ellen And Portia's Guest Book: CNN Bigotry, Katherine Heigl's Misery, and T.R. Knight's Dream
Posted by Seth at 8:20 AM on August 19, 2008
By all accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's Saturday wedding was a stunning and intimate affair, the two beautiful brides eliciting audible gasps from the guests as they walked down the aisle, trailed closely behind by Iggy the Flower Dog tossing mouthfuls of white rose petals. Obviously, the world bids these two rapturously-in-love and talented ladies a lifetime of happiness together, though it's interesting to see how those good wishes sometimes play themselves out. For starters, we have CNN's headline on the nuptials, noticed by blogger Chexydecimal, which reads, "Ellen DeGeneres 'marries' Portia Rossi." After complaints were lodged, they pulled the scare quotes—floating there like two chubby, hooked televangelist's fingers—but kept De Rossi's last name wrong.
By all accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's Saturday wedding was a stunning and intimate affair, the two beautiful brides eliciting audible gasps from the guests as they walked down the aisle, trailed closely behind by Iggy the Flower Dog tossing mouthfuls of white rose petals. Obviously, the world bids these two rapturously-in-love and talented ladies a lifetime of happiness together, though it's interesting to see how those good wishes sometimes play themselves out. For starters, we have CNN's headline on the nuptials,
T.R. Knight's internalized, anti-breeder wrath nearly ruins the wedding video, after the jump!
At the other end of the spectrum comes a video greeting card from People.com, where Katherine Heigl opens the well-wishes with a thoroughly exasperated, "Marriage...[defeated exhalation] marriage..." Glad you're loving it, Kath! Then, T.R. Knight swoops in to give what could very well be the most depressing congratulatory wedding message in history. He almost cracks a smile near the beginning, then pauses thoughtfully for an uncomfortably long moment before launching into a diatribe about "the anger, and rage, and rage, and sadness" he feels at the many wrongs inflicted by this country upon, presumably, Caucasian males making seven-figures a year such as himself. Thank God Jason Biggs is around to add a little—you know—happiness to the proceedings. This dude loves marriage! And breeding! He's a marriage-loving, breeding machine!
- CNN "Reports" on Ellen Marriage [chexydecimal via Jossip]
- Ellen's Wedding Singer Gushes Over Ceremony [Poeple]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
TurdBlossom
Posted 11:33 AM 19/8/08
Paging Dr Buzz-kill....
TurdBlossom
kookla
Posted 11:33 AM 19/8/08
Thank goodness that pie-humper was around to lift the mood again!
kookla
hughman
Posted 11:04 AM 19/8/08
thanks, TR Knight, for crunching all the buzz. maybe next time you could sob into your hands or recite some Kirkegård. maybe an interpretive jazz dance about humanity.
hughman
Old No.7
Posted 10:45 AM 19/8/08
Yes, it must be exasperating work to keep your husband beat down and submissive.
Old No.7
gaynyernbama
Posted 11:50 AM 19/8/08
The sound bite is so important.
gaynyernbama
ge90036
Posted 11:50 AM 19/8/08
I guess TR finally figured out the 19 year old boy toy wasn't around just for his smashing good looks and warm, loving personality after all.
ge90036
fiona8888
Posted 1:10 PM 19/8/08
Hello Debbie Downer!
fiona8888
Lulamaybelle
Posted 2:18 PM 19/8/08
way to go Jason Biggs to turn this around and make it about how YOU just got married! And thank you Defamer for just cutting him off- there is a special spot in heaven for those who interrupt Jason Biggs.
Lulamaybelle
Whinemaker
Posted 3:53 PM 19/8/08
Did anyone notice how during T.R. Knight's endless drone, how the camera kept drifting to the left to catch glimpses of whom I believe to be DWTS own Cheryle Burke?
Whinemaker
Mel Gibstein
Posted 4:32 PM 19/8/08
Where is Isaiah Washington when you really need him?
No, really...where is that guy?
Mel Gibstein
zoethebitch
Posted 11:21 PM 19/8/08
Being a celeb: Can't just congratulate people for getting married; you have to make a public video so everyone knows you sent a card.
How large an ego you must have to survive in that world.
zoethebitch
jasonelias
Posted 2:20 AM 20/8/08
Wow, I think I hate everyone in that clip.
jasonelias
DarkKnightShyamalan
Posted 2:16 AM 20/8/08
Well, CNN does a "great" job of "reporting" the "news."
DarkKnightShyamalan
Breadbowl
Posted 3:13 AM 20/8/08
The idiotic idea expressed by TR that our country has done so much wrong to make up for and "some" good is the reason I think Obama could still blow this thing.
Breadbowl
HandsomeBwonderful
Posted 3:40 AM 20/8/08
Jesus. That TR Knight should really clam up. "We've done wrong?" Pampered working TV actors making millions for showing up, hitting their marks and delivering cliched, predictable lines, should get down on their knees (well...) and thank Buddha, Tom Cruise, or that red string they are so lucky. Yes, lucky. A coworker called him a name? Boo-f-ing hoo. I'm sure there is no shortage of dudes willing to comfort him in his hour of need. Not to impugn a whole class of douche, but I have never met a group of people so wholly entitled and clueless as working actors.
HandsomeBwonderful
ophthalmologist
Posted 6:11 AM 20/8/08
It's simplistic to dismiss TR's comments because he's a celebrity, but they are valid. Sounds like no one wants to hear it, no surprise there. Many people are still clueless about the depth of hatred for gays that continues. It's easier to ignore or act like it's no problem at all.
Saying "A coworker called him a name?" trivializes the F word to an absurdity. If TR had called his "coworker" the N word, would it be dismissed with a condescending boo-hoo?
ophthalmologist
TillieHarper
Posted 7:06 AM 20/8/08
I smell a divorce. Heigl when you say, "...and that person is on your side forever now...hopefully" it doesn't bode well for your own marriage.
TillieHarper
HandsomeBwonderful
Posted 7:55 AM 20/8/08
@ophthalmologist: Easy, don't equate using the word as a hate crime. I know that Isiah Washington is probably an insufferable a-hole who is bitter and angry for any number of phantom reasons, but let's get a little thick-skinned about being called a name. Are we a nation of pussies? I've been called worse at work and managed to soldier on for far less $(and without having a "California 5" every hour). Washington is a loser, and as such his words should inflict no wounds on TR. Besides, I dare you name a place more tolerant for gays than the muffin-basketed embrace of the entertainment industry and its minions of enablers. Move the f on, you whiner.
@TillieHarper:
Yeah, that was telling. I'm sure there's more than a fair share of under-the-breath commentary at HeiglHouse:
KH: Thanks, for taking out the garbage, honey.
Mr.H: You're welcome, babe.
KH: (Smiles, exhales American Spirit Blue smoke,under breath) Not like you had anything better to do.
HandsomeBwonderful
BourBonMot
Posted 1:06 PM 19/8/08
Heigl and Knight are just so infinitely face punchable.
BourBonMot
ophthalmologist
Posted 12:35 PM 21/8/08
@HandsomeBwonderful: Who said anything about a 'hate crime'?
Curious, what was it you were called at work that was worse? And you didn't even address use of the N word.
"Tolerant for gays" reveals your mindset more than you realize.
if you don't want to engage with what I actually wrote, just toss around the word "whiner" again - discussion over, YOU WIN by...by...name-calling!
woops, in your world words are meaningless, they carry no intention, right? no one should ever protest a word that carries a long history of hate; Please may I have my magic get-over-all-of-it pill now
ophthalmologist