1988 Oscars Number Held In Suspicion Of Multiple Career Killings

A recently unearthed artifact from 1988 offers a mass celebrity humiliation on a scale so staggering, the mind quite simply reels. The setting was that year’s Academy Awards ceremony—and what better way to celebrate the most glamorous evening in entertainment that with a nine-minute-long musical number peopled by Hollywood’s “brightest young stars,” in which they express through singing, dancing, fencing, and moonwalking their, um, desire to become a “super duper pooper scooper” Oscar winner.

Along this journey through Satan’s lower colon, you’ll spot some recognisable faces— Blair Underwood, Christian Slater, McDreamy, Ricki Lake, Chad Lowe, and Corey Feldman, whose bedroom walls we can only imagine were covered in “Bad” posters at the time. You’ll also spot some lesser-knowns: Keith “Adventures in Babysitting” Coogan, Melora “Jan from The Office” Hardin, Carrie “Carol Burnett’s deceased daughter” Hamilton, plus an elegant pas de deux featuring Tracy “Ricky’s daughter/Seinfeld’s twin” Nelson and someone by the name of D.A. Pauley. Have we sold this yet? Did we mention Feldman gets a dance solo at the 4:45 mark? Enjoy.

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