Monday, August 18, 2008
TEKNIKAL DIFYCULTEES!!
4:10PM Jess McGuire | Wahey!
We’ve been having a few database techno thingomewhatsits since the weekend, and along with yours truly having some issues with posting new stuff (if you’re wiping sweat from your brow and mumbling “Thank god, someone’s finally shut that bitch up…” at your monitor, then wow, dude. That hurts. That hurts real bad…), our comments function has taken some time off to go and fist itself.
So before I get anymore emails about it, let me just say once more – the comments function is broken at the moment but will be back on line soon. Scientologists and non-Scientologists who are contacting me to say they can’t comment on this post and good god/Xenu, are we censoring debate, etc etc etc… RELAX. You can defend/make fun of the L. Ron massive as much as you like once we’re in full working order again.
UPDATE: Hilariously and appropriately, this entry was posted twice after half an hour of refusing to publish at all. See? I’m not lying. I’ll get you, McKenzie…*
*Bonus points for whoever gets that pop culture reference. More » 
Just So Everyone Is Completely Clear On This Issue, Tania Zaetta Is Not A Gangbangin’ Slut
1:19PM Jess McGuire | In between takes on the Geelong set of her new movie The Ninja, perhaps whilst sipping her all important stress-relieving Lemon Detox concoction, Tania Zaetta obviously had a long hard think about the infamous story back in May that was published by the Daily Telegraph which stated the Defence Department were in the midst of sussing out claims she’d been servicing the lonely troops in a way Mount Isa’s mayor can only dream of, and decided apologies were not enough – lawyers needed to be involved.
The TV host and actress Tania Zaetta is suing the publisher of The Daily Telegraph over an article that allegedly inferred she was a “slut” when it claimed the Defence Department was investigating a report she had sex with troops in Afghanistan on a concert tour.
More after the jump. More » 
Ladyhawke Is The Best Thing I’ve Heard All Year
12:21PM Jess McGuire | Admittedly, I have a tendency to proclaim everything music-related I fall in love with as “the best thing ever! In the history of anything!“. In fact, in the past two weeks, I’ve called Danish pop group Alphabeat “the best pop group ever!” (someone bring them out here, please – 10,000 Nights Of Thunder makes me unbelievably happy), declared Robert Forster’s Let Your Light In Babe and Chris Stills‘ Doors To The World “pretty much the most beautiful song… ever!”, and I’ve also been quietly loudly confident that David McCormack & The Polaroids’ unexpectedly heart wrenching tracks Lonely and You Are Over Me are “probably the best ever songs to cry to while riding your bike in the rain” (a specific but important genre).
But let us not take my enthusiastic dribbling idiot approach to talking about music and turn it into an excuse to ignore my passionate rantings, but instead – let’s all go completely mental over the genius of Ladyhawke.
Shall we? More » Triple M Have Taken To Mocking Sonia Kruger… There Will Be Blood
11:24AM Jess McGuire | What kind of idiot can’t comprehend the greatness that is Sonia Kruger? According to this article, Triple M are having a jolly good time poking fun at Tina Sparkle’s work on Yum Cha.
Radio station Triple M has devoted two national drive-time segments, “Onya Sonia” and “Kruger or Not”, to slating Kruger, who also works for their radio rival, Mix 106.5.
Well, the idea of Triple M making themselves out to be lovers of quality commentary, amusing banter, quick-witted conversation, and just socially relevant in general is about the most hilarious thing ever, and I would laugh heartily at Wil & Lehmo – yes, there’s a first time for everything! – were I not seething with red hot anger over their hideous disrespect of this fine nation’s greatest star of both the screen and the wireless, Ms Sonia Kruger.
If those bastards don’t issue a drive time apology to Tina Sparkle, I will kick them both in the cock (NOTE TO LAW ENFORCEMENT: THIS IS A METAPHOR).
VIVA LA SPARKLE! More » 
Unfortunate Looking Women Of The Nation, Mount Isa’s Desperate Men Need YOU!
10:50AM Jess McGuire | The Mayor of Mount Isa, the very switched on John Molony, has attracted some criticism over the weekend. Why? Because this brave and sensitive fellow, distraught at the idea of ugly women being passed over for love in the big smoke when the desperate menfolk of his small hometown would be perfectly willing to put them to good use, made a public appeal for the aesthetically challenged females of the nation to make the move to Mount Isa and service the sexual needs of his doodle-owning constituents.
A severe female drought has gripped Mount Isa, but Mayor John Molony thinks he has the answer: ugly girls.
To be fair to Mount Isa’s pimp-mayor, he did word his appeal a bit better than that. It was rather poetic, actually. More » Tony Squires Reveals His Man Crush On Matthew White
9:53AM Jess McGuire | Ahem. I may be overdoing it a little, but Vega breakfast host (and former member of Channel Seven’s Athens coverage team back in 2004) Tony Squires wrote a nice piece for the Sunday Telegraph about his recent pedicure – no, really – and in it managed to throw a little kudos on the direction of Seven’s Olympic correspondents, a team who aren’t getting much love at the moment from viewers.
It’s virtually impossible for coverage of an event such as the Olympics to be universally admired. A pantheon of sports is happening simultaneously – only so many can be shown live.
More » 
