Thursday, August 14, 2008
YouTube Clip Of The Day
5:17PM Jess McGuire | Handsome reader Anthony sent the following clip in to me, adding that he hoped it tickled your editor as much as it did him.
Anthony? I believe we are equally tickled. Thank you, sir! More » 
Too Late To Apologise: Timbaland Cancels Australian Tour
3:33PM Clem Bastow | Planning on getting along to an arena show to see Mr Mose on the beats and watch up-and-comer Keri Hilson in support? Tough titties if so: rapper and R&B producer extraordinaire Timbaland has cancelled his Australian tour (after already delaying it), with no explanation. The first of his dates was due to start this Friday in Sydney (i.e. TOMORROW) but R&B fans will be wandering around the city in a disappointed daze, sadly clutching their tickets and asking strangers if they have any hot beats to spare. Here’s the statement from Ticketek’s website, in full:
The Timbaland event will not be proceeding.
Showtime Touring Group & Timbaland apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.
Now that’s what I call good customer relations! So, in the scheme of tour cancellings, if “sickness” is usually a euphemism for “CBF“, how do we interpret a straight up cancel without explanation? More » 
Okay, Who Let Michael Bay Into The ‘Home & Away’ Editing Suite?
3:15PM Clem Bastow | If there’s one thing you’ll notice about Channel Seven at the moment – you know, apart from some small sporting event they seem to be covering – it’s the intensity with which they are promoting all their post-Olympics programming (which they have rather dramatically titled “After The Olympics”, which sounds a little “post-9/11″ for my liking), whether it be Packed To The Rafters, Make Me A Supermodel or, most notably, Home & Away. Now, I’ve long since switched from Ramsay Street to Summer Bay, but it seems that in the past fortnight since I last saw an episode, my favourite “drama serial” has turned from a mildly melodramatic soap to an all aerial-tracking, all dramatic-orchestral-bursting megaplex epic that gives Highlander a run for its money. Come over the jump to see the promo that, if you watch with your eyes closed, you could be forgiven for mistaking as the trailer for the latest Hollywood blockbuster. More » 
One For Her Mum’s Wallet
2:45PM Clem Bastow | In case you’ve not noticed, all Australian online news outlets are currently going batshit crazy (official term) over the Olympics, which means they’re all busting their servers to bring us extensive multimedia coverage, and plugging it in every inch of spare space on their homepages. Which is annoying, until you get something hilarious like TheAge.com.au’s current link-through to their highlights presentation:
The poor lass remains un-captioned in the presentation (which features the sort of hilariously portentous music that even South Park’s Parker and Stone would probably think was too much), but amongst all the “OMG WIN!!!” coverage of Stephanie Rice et al, it’s nice to see some failure on the front page.
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Preemptive Australian Idol Round-Up: Well, CAN You Feel It?
1:21PM Clem Bastow | It’s almost that time again, and while everyone is crapping themselves over the Olympics, Channel Ten has been taking advantage of people flipping channels for respite viewing by pummelling them with a sneak preview of this year’s bunch of hopefuls, singing The Jacksons’ Can You Feel It. Given that I only managed to watch it last night, you too may be in the dark – hop over the jump to witness their warbling and we can compare notes. More » Daniel Johns Commits Sin Of Not Watching Model GF On Catwalk
12:44PM Clem Bastow | The nerve of rock stars these days – they get together with models, and not only do they not feature them in their video-clips (unlike the good old days of Jerry Hall and Christie Brinkley doing the rounds on MTV), now they can’t even be arsed getting out of bed in time to watch their leggy charges storm the catwalk. At least, that seems to be the mood at the news.com.au/Daily Telegraph team, where they are wailing in the streets because Daniel Johns missed his girl Louise Van Der Vorst’s appearance in the Alex Perry show for Fashion Targets Breast Cancer (in other words, not only does he not care about his girlfriend, he doesn’t care about breast cancer!):
He’s happy to snuggle up to girlfriend Louise Van Der Vorst at every upmarket restaurant on Crown St, Surry Hills, but Daniel Johns does not seem so keen on mixing business with pleasure.
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Maybe She Was Just Waiting For Him To Flap A Dickie Long Time
11:41AM Clem Bastow | It’s shaping up to look like Beijing 2008 is just not going to be Tina Sparkle’s Olympics. After she was hooted at for asking whether 48kg meant the weight-lifters lifted or weighed 48kg (one would think a reasonable question… sort of), Sonia Kruger has found herself in the hosting deep end again – although this time, because of what she didn’t say rather than what she did. Confused yet? Read on. More » 
Take A Dump With Tori And Dean And Friends!
11:25AM Seth | · This has got to be some kind of new low: Join in the fun as Tori Spelling’s party guests crowd into the bathroom to watch husband Dean McDermott try out the new features on their high-tech wondercrapper. You’ll be glad you did! [Tori and Dean] · Fine, Millions of Milkshakes—L.A.’s newest frozen-delight venture—features the Britney, Paris, and Lindsay among its 75 million flavors. But does it feature a Zoila? It had better. [Eater LA] ·After seeing Victoria’s act, watching Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai dislocate his elbow should be a piece of cake. (Warning: Graphic.) [Deadspin] · Once we’re onto the subject of Olympics injuries, we’re getting reports that Michael Phelps has dislocated his penis in the 400-meter Individual Medley. [WOW Report] · Ranchero singer and telenovela star Pablo Montero has been arrested for cocaine use and possession, forever altering the course of future-Dancing with the Stars-participation history. [NY Daily News] More »
Classy Actresses Are Easier to Come By Than HuffPo Contributor Seems to Think
11:00AM STV | Setting aside the redundant video that uncannily resembles stock news footage shot sometime during the Nixon Adminstration, there’s plenty to not get about HuffPo contributor John Farr’s recent overview of “smart, classy” actresses’ decline in Hollywood. It’s not like we can even necessarily argue with his taste for Joan Allen, to whom he ascribes the sense of sophistication, glamour and taste evident in icons like Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Vivian Leigh and Greta Garbo: More »
After Crash, Soap Star May Regret Having Discussed His ‘2 Fast 2 Furious’ Aspirations
10:41AM Clem Bastow | Readers of Dolly and TV Week magazines will have been shocked to hear that Home & Away star Todd Lasance (who plays the one with the alcoholic dad and was touched up by his war hero granddad when he was a kid and consequently likes to punch on, except when he’s moonily looking into the eyes of Belle aka Savings Brand Mischa Barton) was in a serious car accident on the weekend that required him to be taken to hospital via ambulance. However, fear not! His valuable face is unscathed, but I’m guessing both he and the Home & Away family will probably wince when they recall a particular interview snippet he gave last year – and it looks like Seven is already on the defensive.
A spokesman for the Seven network was keen to play down the accident.
More » 
