At this point, my former nemesis Stephanie Rice could use her time in the pool to simply do a poo, and I for one would stick a flag in it, salute, and begin belting out "We are one, but we are maaaaaaaaaaany..." and encouraging others to follow suit.

IT'S GOLD AGAIN FOR STEPHANIE!

A touch over two years ago, nobody outside of swimming circles, her family and friends, and maybe those on Facebook, knew anything about Stephanie Rice. Today, among a women's team of superstars, she is the Australian golden girl, claiming her second Olympic gold medal.

Read More »

Oh my god. I thought it was your standard "Increase your d1ck!!!!!" style spam email, but then I realised that a) it was about poo smells, and b) it appeared to be deliberately sent to me by an Australian company.

Dear Friend,

Ever felt embarrassed after leaving a smell when you've used the toilet?

Have you ever wanted to use a public toilet without worrying about unpleasant odours?

HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

Maybe it wasn't deliberately sent to me, and the folks from Just A Drop are spamming me. What do I care? They read me like a Golden Book. Send us free samples! Go on! Send us something to give away to our smelly readers! The pop culture loving arses of Australia need your help!

I was saddened to learn this morning that despite their best efforts, the Australian women's softball team just missed out on a win against the Japanese in Beijing.

A come-from-behind effort was not quite enough to snatch victory for the Australian softball team, who went down 4-3 to a slick Japanese outfit in Beijing on Tuesday evening.

...

Sandy Lewis, Natalie Titcum and Jodie Bowering hit the runs for the Australians, who face another tough hit-out when they meet the USA on Wednesday.

We can only hope Titcum makes another come-from-behind effort against the Americans. Sounds incredibly athletic.

(I AM SORRY, NATALIE)

As someone who is attempting to finish up with my deadly tobacco habit - yes, again - and who also happens to be four days clean and feeling smug (well, as smug as one can be when also suffering from what feels like a fifth bout of cataids this winter, and coughing up a lung every two minutes), I felt an incredible bond with Julianne Moore after learning her decision to end her addiction led to her becoming the incredible person she is today, or something along those lines.

Actress Julianne Moore credits her decision to quit smoking for an emotional awakening that has made her a better actress and person.

Read More »

The title above is the phone call I like to imagine Peaches Geldof having with her dad, Sir Bob, after her drive-through wedding in Vegas (where else?) to small-time rock muso, Max Drummey. They chose The Little White Wedding Chapel, where Britney Spears, Joan Collins and Demi Moore have also tied the knot (though not with each other) and I'm sure - with Peaches currently flying back to the UK while her husband tours the States - that the union has nothing to do with the words "publicity" and "stunt" (or their synonyms, "drunken" and "rampage"). The whole thing just makes you shed a tear for young love, doesn't it?

In a statement, the couple said they were 'delighted to announce their very happy marriage'.

Read More »

Remember approximately a bazillion years ago when Winegums was working with producer/collaborator Mark Ronson on the theme song for the new 007 flick, Quantum Of Solace, and everyone was all like "this will be Amy's big career revival!"? Yeah, neither did I, such has been her exemplary work ethic lately, but evidently she actually did finish a recording and plans to release it anyway (i.e. in spite of Jack White and Alicia Keys' official track) in some sort of chart comeback/flipped bird to the Bond execs who vetoed her effort. Wow, this has "monumental success" written all over it!

Amy told me she wants to "prove that they have made a big mistake".

Read More »

We thought all discussion of The Clone Wars ended yesterday with the discovery that if Harry Knowles hates it — enough even for George Lucas Warner Bros. to swoop in and kill his embargo-shattering review — it must be some kind of radioactively awful. But new revelations have surfaced this afternoon about Ziro the Hutt, the fringe character whom Knowles described as sounding like "a racist take on a Black New Orleans Crack-Dealing Whore." Not quite, Harry — not even close, in fact, according to an interview published today at MTV Movies:

Read More »

We're going to have to insist you have a listen to it now, please. I suspect Alicia Moore's infuriatingly catchy post-divorce anthem is going to end up being flogged to death on commercial radio in the near future. The eternally wonderful Popjustice describes the song by saying "One of the things we like about it is that while it's superficially a howl of defiance you can't escape the fact that at the heart of this is an injured and self destructive spirit coping very badly but in the only way she knows how."

What do you think? Part of me really likes it, but there's another part of me wishing it sounded as utterly brilliant as the Popjustice description I read before listening to it made it out to be.

PS: Pink's glad her fans dig it, and don't worry - her ex is cool with the tune too.

We'll probably be able to file this one in the "not what it looks like" basket, but still, when it comes to buildings/shops you don't want to walk out of as a celeb when there are cameras around, an ultrasound facility ranks just below Bob's Suppositories & Haemmorhoid Cream Warehouse and just above your local Scientology Centre - and the former (the ultrasound facility, not Bob's) was precisely what our postmodern mermaid fantasiser Delta Goodrem came strolling out of yesterday:

Delta Goodrem is racing through a monumental to-do list during a two-week visit back home this week from her Los Angeles base.

Read More »

It will be no secret to anyone who knows either member of the Defamer Australia team that we are massive fans of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Regularly, your Editor and myself will sit down and textually narrate each episode, like a Doris Day and Rock Hudson split-screen for the MTV generation, thrilling as they catch bad dudes and marvelling at the bottomless well of URST between Dets Benson and Stabler. (In addition, if you ever want to really laugh, and then cry a bit, and then feel slightly nauseated, and then laugh again, Google "SVU fanfic". Do it.) So, naturally, you can imagine my concern when I stumbled upon these photos of the SVU crew filming in New York's Meatpacking District last week and, well, let's just let the costume department speak for itself, shall we?

Read More »

If you ever wondered whether the politicians who pop up on Facebook are real or just puppets run by glasses-wearing lackeys eating Cheetos, this latest snafu should sort things out for you: a number of Australian pollies have ended up red-faced after the dirty laundry they aired on Facebook inadvertently ended up broadcast to the whole world. Sadly, said dirty laundry was not quite of the "snapped vomiting while doing a backflip at the office Christmas party variety" but, well, beggars can't be choosers, can they?

As sites like Facebook and MySpace become increasingly popular, more politicians are creating profiles to engage with constituents and the community at large.

But, without knowing exactly what they are doing, MPs are getting themselves in to trouble.

Read More »

There's a kind of hush in the oceans of the world today as dolphins and whales everywhere take a moment to pause and reflect on the sad death of one of their own - well, perhaps "death" is a little melodramatic, but it seems that our free spirited hippie princess Isabel Lucas' relationship with fellow green star Adrian Grenier is as finished as a penguin in an oil slick. Our princess is pictured at Hayden Panettiere' Whaleman Foundation Benefit over the weekend, at which she was flying solo, and as usual, a helpful source is able to fill in the gaps:

"It wasn't working out," says the source.

Read More »

With our daily "MGM Tower Under Attack" report in the books, "retard" outrage in the streets and everything thankfully quiet on our Billy Bob Thornton Co-Star CurseWatch, the only real news we have left to pass along today actually speaks for itself: "The Best Breast List: wowOwow's Peek Down Dazzling 40+ Décolletage." Indeed, the saucy ladies of the women's Web site wowOwow — including Liz Smith, Whoopi Goldberg, and Lily Tomlin among others — gathered their 10 favourite middle-age busts in no particular order for discussion, observation and, if you dare, debate. We don't exactly know the criteria (bikini-rocking couldn't have hurt Helen Mirren), but see if you can lift and separate them in an excerpt after the jump.

Read More »

The backstage drama behind the CW's 90210 reboot is quickly providing its very own season arcs — and all this before the teen soap has even aired! When last we swung by the refurbished Peach Pit, Tori Spelling was bailing on the redo after learning that other original cast members Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty would be receiving more money. Appraised of the issue, Garth quickly called up EW to give her side of the story:

Read More »

· Today on Feeling Zoila, Jeff Lewis's frittata-serving lifemate reveals what she's learned from her OCD-afflicted boss. We think we can now safely say we know where she got that bad habit of standing on the front lawn in denim short-shorts and shaking her dumps for passing motorists. [Flipping Out]
· "I know I've complained about your split-ends before, but hair, thank you for being the only thing on this planet preventing me from totally losing it right now!!!" [Mollygood]
· Shia's pinkie is still attached and doing well, said co-star Isabel Lucas, which was more than she could say for Adrian Grenier. [Just Jared, People]
· Beefcake week continues here at Defamer with some 19-year-old, shirtless Seacrest. [TMZ]
· For the love of God, do not click here. (You have been warned. Don't go complaining that you shouldn't have done it.) [Celebslam]
· Inky, Pinky, Sprinkly, and Yum. [shinyshiny.tv]

Read More »

Apocalypse Commences at MGM Tower: A brave reader sends word and photographic evidence of the third — and by far the most real yet — safety crisis to grip the Century City landmark in the last week: Bees! "They have not yet shut down the building, but the front entrance is now closed due to a swarm of bees huddling over and around their queen," we're told. We're not sure if this is at all connected to the Tower's bomb-y, anthrax-y week of living dangerously, or if perhaps it's just a late public rally in support of UA's beleaguered Paula Wagner, but in any event, we once again advise caution to those working at or visiting the site. And, of course, insert your "Finally — buzz at MGM!" joke here.

Read More »

Though no one cared enough to actually make it to her funeral, Golden Girls actress Estelle Getty was beloved in Hollywood, where actors and agents whiling down coke benders at 4 a.m. grew to love the misadventures of her sassy Sophia Petrillo during countless late-night Lifetime reruns. Still, that didn't stop the sketch comics at Upright Citizens Brigade from trotting out their impressions of the actress — as well as those of the deceased Heath Ledger and Bernie Mac — during a 72-hour marathon at the theatre. According to the NY Daily News, celebrity panelist Brooke Shields wasn't laughing:

Read More »

Lionsgate is reportedly allocating a portion of its new credit line to therapists after Dane Cook, the co-star of the studio's forthcoming "edgy comedy with a dash of romance" My Best Friend's Girl, lashed out today at the poor souls responsible for the film's poster. As if their mission to sell a Dane Cook film wasn't challenging enough, the actor/comedian assailed everything from the designers' Photoshop skills to his own hair ("actually a close up shot of Tom Selleck's Magnum P.I. mustache," he notes) in a quest for cosmic poster justice. For reasons we'll explain after the jump, we think he's being a little hard on the artists. After all, isn't there a little bit "Brittany Spears' [sic] vagina" in all of us?

Read More »

What better way to cool down in the summer heat than with a frozen reality turkeycicle, aka High School Musical: Get In The Picture? We had yet to encounter the kids vying for whatever it is this show is promising—we assume some sort walk-on role on High School Musical 5: Pregnancy Pact!. But we figured, "Hey— aspiring child actors competing for our hearts and votes on a competitive talent show, what could go wrong?" A lot, it turns out.

Read More »

We saw the disgrace that unfolded recently when Scarlett Johansson's putative e-mail relationship with Barack Obama was exposed for the sham it was, so it's with great care that we broach revelations that George Clooney is reportedly the Senator's new Hollywood BFF. As seen in the accompanying video, however, Obama's new Special Envoy for Text-Message Policy (West Coast) drew attacks Monday from the reactionaries at the Fox News institution Red Eye, which touched on Clooney's underqualifications as both a leading man and a filmmaker: "Do you want to take advice from the man who looked at the Batman and Robin script and said, 'Let's do this'?" Indeed, while we admit bristling at last week's GOP smear linking Obama to Paris Hilton, even we must acknowledge that the "nipple suit" is a far-too-sizable albatross for anyone to contend with come November. [Fox News]

• WATCH VIDEO

Read More »

· Taylor Hackford is set to direct Tenn, about Tennessee Williams's formative years. It's being financed by the same company that brought you Capote, the second part of their planned Great Sissies of History trilogy that will conclude with the harrowing fitness-empire biodrama, Simmons. [Variety]
· Author Plum Sykes is co-writing a sitcom pilot for NBC called Mogulettes, about young, beautiful she-captains of industry. No one remotely suspects what they're hiding in their pantyhose! [Variety]
· The End of Ideas: We Can't Even Really Be Bothered To Type Out The Rest of This Etc. Etc. Edition: A TV version of The Witches of Eastwick gets a pilot pickup at ABC. [Variety]
· Starz's Vongo and Morgan Freeman's ClickStar both shutter their internet-movie-download operations. [Variety]
· Oh, for the love of God: "CBS is saying aloha to a new installment of the Hawaii Five-O franchise from Criminal Minds exec producer/showrunner Ed Bernero." Aloha means goodbye in this instance, we hope. [THR]

Read More »

We took the better part of two days to process the NYT's recent recognition of Warner Bros. as the crown jewel at Time Warner, where Jeff Bewkes, Barry Meyer, Alan Horn and Co. are venerated at length for emphasizing "content" (i.e. their film and TV properties) ahead of "distribution" outlets like AOL, DVD and on-demand services. It's an oddly situational success story; in fact, it opens with WB chairman Meyer literally inhaling the incoming fax telling him The Dark Knight made $66 million on opening day, and namechecks Two and a Half Men among a handful of TV series that are finding lucrative traction internationally. There's also the HBO factor and the Turner channels' flourishing as well.

Read More »

We all know the feeling: Burrowing your way through a nightstand stack of forgettable screenplays, you suddenly discover The One. You try to convince your boss the next morning that while we've all seen Rudolph Valentino biopics before, none have captured the meteoric rise and untimely death of cinema's most iconic lover better than this one. Your boss says, "Great. Get me coverage," which you swiftly attend to with the intensity and single mindedness of purpose of a Benedictine monk inscribing indulgences. You present the pages, which your boss loses somewhere between work and a racquetball court appointment. You recover, eventually finding another The One: the greatest Evil Knievel biopic you've ever read! Rudolph falls by the development wayside, never to be heard from again...Until!

Read More »

I can't remember any other politician in recent memory who has inspired artists as much as Barack Obama. From the moment I saw the Shepard Fairey "Hope" poster, I knew that Hillary Clinton's presidential bid was toast. Just as she had inspired t-shirts eight years ago that gave an indication she was gaining enough buzz to enable her to win the Senate seat, I knew that Obama had captured the imagination of the general public when his visage turned into iconography.

Read More »

They were the Olympic opening ceremonies that wowed the world with their stunning displays of Socialist sophistication— but were they on the level? Allegations are flying that Chinese authorities faked certain parts of the broadcast, even going so far as to replace a singing 7-year-old who organizers deemed not hot enough to serve as the face of young China. Says HuffPo of the last-minute switch:

Read More »

Feast your eyes now upon those buzzy promo spots for the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards—featuring host Russell "Big in England" Brand, 2007 VMAs catastrophe Britney Spears, and a giant elephant in the room (not white, but you get it). 10 first impressions:

Read More »

Have you heard? Tom Cruise has positively rejuvenated his career with an unbilled, unrecognizable cameo in an R-rated action comedy yet to open! How should he best ride the buzz from his shockingly profane comic role in Tropic Thunder, the likes of which we have never seen him play before? What career move could he possibly make to show discerning audiences that his edgy side is no fluke?

Read More »

We aren't sure if Nikki Finke has confused the continuing exec exodus from United Artists with just another routine bomb and/or anthrax threat, but either way, the 11th floor at MGM Tower is clearing out again: Jeff Kleeman is reportedly evacuating his office as Executive Vice President of Production after less than a year on the job at UA. His departure follows marketing boss Dennis Rice's own flight earlier this summer and an abbreviated period during which Kleeman oversaw the development and/or production of exactly no finished films. Factor in the continuing limbo of Valkyrie, its deep (if closed) pockets and a tense relationship with its partners at MGM, and we can't help but ask once again: Does Tom Cruise, Paula Wagner or any of the skeleton crew left over there actually have a plan for this studio?

Read More »

Despite all traces of Simple Jack—veteran fake-action-star Tugg Speedman's brazen Oscar-shot playing a stuttering, simpleton farmhand—having been literally whitewashed from the web, activists remain outraged over Tropic Thunder's depiction-within-a-depiction of the developmentally disabled as bucktoothed "retards" incapable of expressing affection without the use of the phrase, "You mm-mm-m-ake my p-p-pee-peemaker t-t-t-tingle." (Sheesh—so touchy.) As threatened, dozens of placard-wielding protesters outfitted in 'Retard'busters T-shirts marched outside last night's premiere in Westwood, giving the proceedings the strangely familiar air of an RGA West strike line. From the AP report:

Read More »