Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Stephanie Rice For Prime Minister! Aussie Aussie Aussie! Etc!
4:26PM Jess McGuire | At this point, my former nemesis Stephanie Rice could use her time in the pool to simply do a poo, and I for one would stick a flag in it, salute, and begin belting out “We are one, but we are maaaaaaaaaaany…” and encouraging others to follow suit.
IT’S GOLD AGAIN FOR STEPHANIE!
A touch over two years ago, nobody outside of swimming circles, her family and friends, and maybe those on Facebook, knew anything about Stephanie Rice. Today, among a women’s team of superstars, she is the Australian golden girl, claiming her second Olympic gold medal.
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An Excerpt From Probably The Greatest Press Release I’ve Ever Received.
3:03PM Jess McGuire | Oh my god. I thought it was your standard “Increase your d1ck!!!!!” style spam email, but then I realised that a) it was about poo smells, and b) it appeared to be deliberately sent to me by an Australian company.
Dear Friend,
Ever felt embarrassed after leaving a smell when you’ve used the toilet?
Have you ever wanted to use a public toilet without worrying about unpleasant odours?
HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
Maybe it wasn’t deliberately sent to me, and the folks from Just A Drop are spamming me. What do I care? They read me like a Golden Book. Send us free samples! Go on! Send us something to give away to our smelly readers! The pop culture loving arses of Australia need your help! More » Well, They Can’t All Be Winners
1:16PM Jess McGuire | I was saddened to learn this morning that despite their best efforts, the Australian women’s softball team just missed out on a win against the Japanese in Beijing.
A come-from-behind effort was not quite enough to snatch victory for the Australian softball team, who went down 4-3 to a slick Japanese outfit in Beijing on Tuesday evening.
…
Sandy Lewis, Natalie Titcum and Jodie Bowering hit the runs for the Australians, who face another tough hit-out when they meet the USA on Wednesday.
We can only hope Titcum makes another come-from-behind effort against the Americans. Sounds incredibly athletic.
(I AM SORRY, NATALIE) More » Julianne Moore Became A Better Person After She Quit Smoking!
12:22PM Jess McGuire | As someone who is attempting to finish up with my deadly tobacco habit – yes, again – and who also happens to be four days clean and feeling smug (well, as smug as one can be when also suffering from what feels like a fifth bout of cataids this winter, and coughing up a lung every two minutes), I felt an incredible bond with Julianne Moore after learning her decision to end her addiction led to her becoming the incredible person she is today, or something along those lines.
Actress Julianne Moore credits her decision to quit smoking for an emotional awakening that has made her a better actress and person.
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“Yeah, I’m Heading Home Now… Oh Yeah, I Got Married”
11:52AM Clem Bastow | The title above is the phone call I like to imagine Peaches Geldof having with her dad, Sir Bob, after her drive-through wedding in Vegas (where else?) to small-time rock muso, Max Drummey. They chose The Little White Wedding Chapel, where Britney Spears, Joan Collins and Demi Moore have also tied the knot (though not with each other) and I’m sure – with Peaches currently flying back to the UK while her husband tours the States – that the union has nothing to do with the words “publicity” and “stunt” (or their synonyms, “drunken” and “rampage”). The whole thing just makes you shed a tear for young love, doesn’t it?
In a statement, the couple said they were ‘delighted to announce their very happy marriage’.
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Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Jacked Off
10:51AM Clem Bastow | Remember approximately a bazillion years ago when Winegums was working with producer/collaborator Mark Ronson on the theme song for the new 007 flick, Quantum Of Solace, and everyone was all like “this will be Amy’s big career revival!”? Yeah, neither did I, such has been her exemplary work ethic lately, but evidently she actually did finish a recording and plans to release it anyway (i.e. in spite of Jack White and Alicia Keys’ official track) in some sort of chart comeback/flipped bird to the Bond execs who vetoed her effort. Wow, this has “monumental success” written all over it!
Amy told me she wants to “prove that they have made a big mistake”.
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Capote-Sounding ‘Star Wars’ Character Only As Gay As You Want Him to Be
10:30AM STV | We thought all discussion of The Clone Wars ended yesterday with the discovery that if Harry Knowles hates it — enough even for George Lucas Warner Bros. to swoop in and kill his embargo-shattering review — it must be some kind of radioactively awful. But new revelations have surfaced this afternoon about Ziro the Hutt, the fringe character whom Knowles described as sounding like “a racist take on a Black New Orleans Crack-Dealing Whore.” Not quite, Harry — not even close, in fact, according to an interview published today at MTV Movies:
Just In Case The Recently Leaked Pink Single Has Slipped By You…
10:14AM Jess McGuire | We’re going to have to insist you have a listen to it now, please. I suspect Alicia Moore’s infuriatingly catchy post-divorce anthem is going to end up being flogged to death on commercial radio in the near future. The eternally wonderful Popjustice describes the song by saying “One of the things we like about it is that while it’s superficially a howl of defiance you can’t escape the fact that at the heart of this is an injured and self destructive spirit coping very badly but in the only way she knows how.”
What do you think? Part of me really likes it, but there’s another part of me wishing it sounded as utterly brilliant as the Popjustice description I read before listening to it made it out to be.
PS: Pink’s glad her fans dig it, and don’t worry – her ex is cool with the tune too. More » 
Are Those Innocent Eyes Hiding A Bun In The Oven?
10:00AM Clem Bastow | We’ll probably be able to file this one in the “not what it looks like” basket, but still, when it comes to buildings/shops you don’t want to walk out of as a celeb when there are cameras around, an ultrasound facility ranks just below Bob’s Suppositories & Haemmorhoid Cream Warehouse and just above your local Scientology Centre – and the former (the ultrasound facility, not Bob’s) was precisely what our postmodern mermaid fantasiser Delta Goodrem came strolling out of yesterday:
Delta Goodrem is racing through a monumental to-do list during a two-week visit back home this week from her Los Angeles base.
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We Are A Little Concerned About ‘SVU’s New Manpower Direction
9:14AM Clem Bastow | It will be no secret to anyone who knows either member of the Defamer Australia team that we are massive fans of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Regularly, your Editor and myself will sit down and textually narrate each episode, like a Doris Day and Rock Hudson split-screen for the MTV generation, thrilling as they catch bad dudes and marvelling at the bottomless well of URST between Dets Benson and Stabler. (In addition, if you ever want to really laugh, and then cry a bit, and then feel slightly nauseated, and then laugh again, Google “SVU fanfic”. Do it.) So, naturally, you can imagine my concern when I stumbled upon these photos of the SVU crew filming in New York’s Meatpacking District last week and, well, let’s just let the costume department speak for itself, shall we? More » 