Tuesday, August 12, 2008
There Is No Way We Can Make ‘Giant Inflatable Poo Breaks Orphanage Window’ Into A Funny Headline
10:02AM Clem Bastow | Sometimes, like maybe once a decade or so, a story comes along that is so perfectly ridiculous there’s nothing you can do to improve it or even make yourself look funny in the reporting – no puns, no witty double entendres, no sparkling repartee that you can add. In short, the story has written itself. Today is one of those rare days:
A giant inflatable dog turd by American artist Paul McCarthy blew away from an exhibition in the garden of a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again, the museum has said.
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Scientology a Prime Suspect in Gossip Columnist’s Isaac Hayes Postmortem
9:55AM STV | After getting through a remarkably quiet week without a single controversy or racketeering lawsuit, the Church of Scientology was dealt another bruising body blow with Isaac Hayes’s death over the weekend. As much as the Church is expected to miss the singer/songwriter’s hot buttered soul and totemic cultural presence, Hayes’s “friend” and generally unreliable Fox source Roger Friedman notes in today’s touching eulogy how the Church wrung every last cent from subpar live performances after his 2006 stroke. More »
YouTube Clip Of The Day
9:43AM Jess McGuire | Following on from yesterday’s Keeping Up The Cats edition of YouTube Clip Of The Day, reader Naomi kindly alerted us to the following video, and attached this little note.
Perhaps not quite the same lyrical genius as Blunt’s cat screeching number, but much nicer to get stuck in your head, I’ll wager.
Naomi, you’re right.
Somewhere out there New Buffalo’s Sally Seltmann is lying happily on a bed made of money. JUST KIDDING. She is probably writing another charming album, and thanking the good lord neither eBay nor iPod particularly minded the fact she chose to ignore the numbers 7 and 8 when penning Feist’s still adorable hit song. More » Not Even The Bogo Pogo Can Save Paul Mercurio From ‘Dancing’ Boot
9:41AM Clem Bastow | After Confidential speculated yesterday that Todd McKenney could be being shown the door at Dancing With The Stars HQ, it turns out it’s not the acid-tongued tall poppy who is on the way out, but instead fellow judge Paul “New Steps” Mercurio who will be let go from the panel. Now who will we turn to on network television to remind us how much we all enjoy reciting lines from Strictly Ballroom? To quote that very film, that was unexpected!
Mercurio was told yesterday he was no longer required on the judging panel of Channel 7’s hit show Dancing with the Stars.
More » Good To See The Courier Mail Are On The Pulse
9:33AM Clem Bastow | Last week we alerted you to Everett True’s Guardian-enabled whining about how much Australia’s music press sucks and blah blah Silverchair blah, and you reacted accordingly (”I’m surprised he’s still kicking” – Born D). Well, the trickle down effect has finally made it to the offices of the Courier Mail some five days later, where all sorts of outrage and indignation is being thrown about:
Queensland’s music press has hit back, with one editor of a local music newspaper dismissing the British music guru as “irrelevent”.
“It’s a really poor piece of journalism from a music writer who once had relevance and influence, but now he’s living in Australia, he doesn’t really have the knowledge or experience of the local industry to back up his opinions,” said the industry source.
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These Kids Would Love To Know Where ‘The Dark Knight’ Got Such Wonderful Toys
9:15AM Mark Graham | Was The Dark Knight, well, too dark for you? If so, then try this faithful recreation of the film’s trailer — starring an adorable cast of child actors — on for size. [Wizard Universe via AOTS] · You’ve been RickRolled, you’ve been ShaniceRolled, but have you ever been BarackRolled? [Videogum] · “The new stoner is a successful career man. In a time of T.J. Mackey, The Game, and John Edwards, the successful stoner is one who can captivate women purely by making them comfortable, a functioning part of the capitalist dystopia in which we now reside.” [This Recording] The next time you need to call a taxi to get your drunk arse home safe and sound, expect it to cost about 10% more. It’ll be worth it. [LAist] · “I wrote the first sentence–’If Dad hadn’t shot Walt Disney in the leg, it would have been our best vacation ever!’–and the rest was automatic.” — John Hughes, on writing Vacation ‘58, the story that would one day become National Lampoon’s Vacation [Zoetrope via Alex Blagg] More »
‘Prince’-ly Jake Gyllenhaal Has Internet Asking, ‘Is It 2010 Yet?’
8:55AM Defamer Hollywood | Before we conclude the Defamer Day of Beefcake, we’d like to make it a threefer: hence this picture of shirtless, Middle Eastern megastar Jake Gyllenhaal squiring girlfriend Reese Witherspoon on the set of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time — which we last learned would be pushed back a full year to Memorial Day, 2010. Now that shirtless photos have emerged of Gyllenhaal’s newly buffed-up body, we think that news will be greeted with the delayed, heart-rending cries of protest it deserves. Says Just Jared:
Adrian Grenier Turns The Cameras On Kid Pap
8:50AM Seth | Celebrities’ complex relationships to the paparazzi who pursue them—can’t live with ‘em, evaporate into a puff of smoke without ‘em—is the topic of Teenage Paparazzi, a documentary film from Adrian Grenier. The idea came to him as he was snapped by a “14-year-old paparazzo,” reports THR—none other than intrepid adolescent shutterbug and celebrity in his own right, Austin Visschedyk: Kid Pap. (He’s accompanied by his junior cronie and Porsche-driving chaperone dad in the accompanying CBS News profile.) The movie also explains Grenier’s camera-friendly affiliation with puppymill proprietor/presidential hopeful, Paris Hilton:
Bible Publisher Set to Release The Lynne Spears Guide to Fucking Up Your Children
8:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Though they’ve already missed the perfect Mother’s Day window, publisher Thomas Nelson, Inc. has just released new information on a parenting guide/cautionary tale penned by Britney and Jamie Lynn materfamilias Lynne Spears and set for release next month. Dubbed Through the Storm, the book will no doubt prove instructive to any stage mother willing to milk her daughters for all they’re worth, subsequently ignoring them when their pregnancies/mental breakdowns interfere with a novelty T-shirt sale at Kitson (free out-of-season Uggs with any purchase!). Says Star Magazine:
