Well, he may not be "keeping up the cats" the way Defamer Australia likes it, but he is slowly but surely improving that nauseating pile of musical excrement known as 'Beautiful'.

Yes, James Blunt has really delivered the goods with his Sesame Street rendition of 'My Triangle'. We applaud him!

How can I loathe one man's musical output so much, and yet deep inside feel quietly confident I'd really quite like the guy in person?

(Via our new sibling Babblebaby)

Yeah, I know: that title sounds a bit far-fetched, sort of like saying "Collingwood will win the flag this year" or "Cheeseburger with 0g of fat invented". But it's true - in a round-about way, while musing about life and work during an appearance at a football club's luncheon in Perth (for which he was no doubt paid with sacks of used bank notes and gold bullion, because the world is fair like that), Sam Newman has suggested his role on The Footy Show may not be long for this world. Hallelujah glory be, sting like a butterfly, float like a bee!

"Everyone of these (appearances) could be the last time I appear in public because one day the station...will say: 'Now mate, this is enough, we've had enough of this, you've got to wind it up'. And that will be it. That's life.

"I'm just filling in time until I'll be sacked...which won't take long.''

How can we guarantee that it really won't take long? Can we get every person in Australia to donate $1 to the Sam Newman retirement fund, and then give him a shipping container full of coins and a block in Caroline Springs for him to see out his days on? Send your spare change to the usual address!

Sometimes the stories that the gossipmongers come up with are so hilariously ridiculous they end up existing in a sort of lyrical, absurd stratosphere well above the usual varieties of "Lindsay orders a drink" or "Jennifer Aniston is dating John Mayer" tattle. One such stroke of brilliance in showbiz page-quota-filling is this corker from the Daily Mail featuring everyone's favourite bird-like What Not To Wear co-host, Trinny Woodall:

She may be battling to save her marriage, but Trinny Woodall also seems preoccupied with establishing a close friendship with Hollywood actor Keanu Reeves.

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After wondering what had actually happened to Amy Winehouse when she dropped off the front pages for about a week (alien abduction? Another hospitalisation? Did Blake eat her in a sacrifice to his vampire overlords?), our Winegums has made an appearance in broad daylight - and wouldn't you know it, even that is a cause for concern!

A frail Amy Winehouse ventured out of her flat in Camden for the first time in a fortnight - needing support from her bodyguard.

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As Dancing With The Stars gears up for another season of laffs and... I can't think of a dance move that rhymes with "laffs", having assigned a host and announced its "stars", it looked as though everything was set to move along nicely - only now Confidential has gone and dropped a fly in the Dance Tan by suggesting that beleaguered judge Todd McKenney may not have a seat on the panel this time around:

With controversial judge Todd McKenney already on serious drugs charges, TV insiders speculated yesterday the trouble-plagued performer could find himself on the bench again.

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Look, until I get a proper glimpse of Sunday Rose Kidman Urban - and at this rate, it looks like I'm going to have to apply for the position of Jamie Fawcett's work experience kid in order to even come close to achieving that goal - I am just going to have to assume the worst. Sunday Rose was born with Conjoined Twin Myslexia. I know it's a fictional condition made up by the creators of South Park, but until Keith and Nic bother proving otherwise, I am certain there's a Nurse Gollum situation going on here.

But wait! Among what seems to be a thousand amazing "No sign of Sunday Rose" stories being published around town comes one briefly interesting report - Hugh Jackman and his missus Deborra-Lee Furness have been over to the Kidman-Urban household, and Sunday Rose has been confirmed as cute!

The world is yet to catch a glimpse of her reddish hair but Hollywood actor Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness yesterday vouched Sunday Rose is "gorgeous".

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Ladies and gentlemen, it is our great honour to inform you this morning that the Allure Media family is growing at a rate even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would find head-spinning, and alongside the more familiar titles Allure Media "parents" like Gizmodo, Kotaku, and Lifehacker and Defamer Australia (the dribbling mutant child sitting in the corner fingerpainting with their own poo), we can now add Babblebaby. The site is edited by Amber Robinson who is, we are assured, a very switched on lady, so what are you waiting for? Head on over to babblebaby.com.au and check it out for yourself.

Very good.

If there's one thing I hate more than an athlete being everywhere I turn - on the cover of every publication I pick up, being interviewed on every radio and television station around, haunting my dreams - it's an athlete who is everywhere I turn and yet never wins gold when it counts.

During the Athens Olympics, my seething hatred (influenced by the aforementioned media omnipresence) was directed toward Jana Pittman and Her Bloody Knee. This year, I expected I would make it through the the Beijing Games gripping happily onto my distaste for Stephanie Rice which made itself obvious last week during the "I Have Split Up With My Boyfriend, I Repeat, I Have Split Up With My Boyfriend - Is This Thing On? Do You Need Me To Write Down A Statement Too?" blitzkrieg.

But what's this?!

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God, you pipe up with one reasonable question about weightlifting, something your average Australian has probably been gagging to ask but was too afraid of being ridiculed (and rightly so, it seems, mores the pity), and those judgemental bastards over at the Daily Telegraph begin using words like "clanger" and "faux pas" in their article about the incident like they're going out of style.

Sonia Kruger may have found her feet on the TV variety dance floor but the ballroom blonde showed her roots while on assignment at the Beijing Olympics yesterday.

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Lily Allen, my favourite celebrity MySpazz blogger (well, it's really between her and Courtney Love, and Lily comes out on top due to the fact you can actually make out what she's saying most of the time), has once again used her login powers to inform her gazillions of friends that she most definitely did not engineer a wardrobe malfunction in order to garner some publicity. She just happened to be bra-less on a warm day, and these things just happen!

hello , i wore a loose fitting t shirt yesterday . I was very hot in London yesterday , and it's no secret I don't like wearing bras , besides i don't need to, measuring in at 32A it hardly seems necessary .My boob fell out twice and people on the blogs are saying it was a publicity stunt . Can I just say , i have been keeping myself very much to myself recently , i've been gardening , decorating my new flat and looking after my greiving grandfather .

Note the reference to her grieving grandfather - a nicely timed reminder that Lily only recently lost her grandmother, and therefore folk flinging accusations of street sluttery in her direction should feel doubly, nay - triply ashamed of themselves.

More of Lily after the jump.

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